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1 The Apprentice returns to NBC The edition in which Trump puts 18 contestants through a rigorous set of challenges designed to weed out the weak, before asking his eventual winner if he can just hire them all anyway.
2 Michelle Kwan becomes Disney spokeswoman Disney — where all your dreams come true! Unlike the Olympics.
3 Jay-Z launches contest to come up with new theme song for the New Jersey Nets Oh, I totally have some dope lyrics to drop: ''We're the Nets/We've never won d---/But it could be worse/At least we ain't the Knicks!''
4 Madonna has hernia operation after Grammy duet with Gorillaz Did she learn nothing from Paula Abdul about the perils of performing alongside cartoon animals?
5 New Cutting Edge DVD out D.B. Sweeney worries that becoming a figure skater will shatter his tough-guy image. Speaking of which, I haven't noticed him working much lately...
6 Patrick Dempsey becomes co-owner of Indy car racing team The good news is, if any of his drivers end up on fire, he can totally hook them up with some hot lady docs.
7 George Clooney's Batman ''nipple suit'' to be auctioned off And then, hopefully...destroyed.
8 Fox to lock nine people in a bunker for reality show The first person they let out wins a bunch of money. The eight people who let him out lose everything—dignity included.
9 Researchers say a new study shows that people use the Internet ''just to hang out'' The findings also show that researchers who need a study to come to this conclusion are ''just kinda idiots.''
10 Willie Nelson sings about gay cowboys This is still less shocking than the whole Julio Iglesias duet thingie.
