''It's very, very windy out here today, so at least we've now learned that I do have real hair.''
DONALD TRUMP, ON THE APPRENTICE
''I would have worn a T-shirt under that sweater, but we all make mistakes.''
RYAN SEACREST, DISSING THE V-NECK SWEATER WORN BY THE HAIRY-CHESTED SIMON COWELL, ON AMERICAN IDOL
''When your life is sucking, you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate men. It's your thing.''
ALEX (JUSTIN CHAMBERS) TO MEREDITH (ELLEN POMPEO), EXPLAINING WHY SHE SLEPT WITH GEORGE (T.R. KNIGHT), ON GREY'S ANATOMY
''They went like bagels.''
HOST HEIDI KLUM, OFFERING HER OWN TWIST ON THE PHRASE ''THEY SOLD LIKE HOTCAKES,'' ON PROJECT RUNWAY
''I think he should pick them like 'eenie-meenie-miney-mo,' so then it'll be fair.''
BACHELOR TRAVIS STORK'S NIECE WHITNEY, DISCUSSING HOW HE SHOULD DECIDE BETWEEN MOANA AND SARAH, ON THE BACHELOR
''Hoping to appeal to teenagers who say they're too busy to peel oranges, Sunkist is introducing a new pre-cut, pre-peeled snack version. Not to be outdone, Baskin Robbins has created a new coneless ice cream that your mother pre-chews and spits down your throat.''
BILL MAHER, ON REAL TIME