TIME PERIOD PREMIERE
What About Brian (ABC) Brian (Barry Watson, pictured, right) has shampoo commercial hair and an inappropriate but sweet crush on his friend’s fiancée. It’s a wholesome but troublesome problem that Matt, Watson’s character on 7th Heaven might have had. Less Matt-like though, is Brian’s opportunity to sleep with two women in a twenty-four hour window, which his attached friends push him to take in this episode.
Celebrity Cooking Showdown (NBC, TV-PG) J'accuse ! Hey, I'm willing to buy that Cindy Margolis, Tom Arnold, and the other stars in this weeklong competish can't melt butter, but Patti LaBelle? She has her own cookbook! Watch, next she'll be auditioning on Idol.
Wife Swap (ABC, TV-PG-L) Look, if we accept that this ''experiment'' has devolved into reality slop, ethically we should stop watching. All in favor of willful denial? ...And the ayes have it.
New Orleans Mayoral Debate (MSNBC) Closest we'll ever get to a Ray Nagin Friars Club roast.
Girlfriends (UPN, TV-PG-L) FYI, this episode is the pilot for a possible spin-off on The CW next season, so by watching, you decide its fate. My guess is you're also deciding Girlfriends' fate, but hey, no pressure.
The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS, TV-PG) Not quite the universe, but guest Andy Richter sorta controls this episode, and that's something, right?
The Armenian Genocide (PBS, TV-PG-V) World War I? It just gets worse.
*check local listings
Murder Prevention Unit (BBC America, TV-14) You don't need this minority to report that the whole pre-crime thing is evil however handy it is as a plot device.
Eva Longoria: The Interview With Ryan Seacrest (E!, TV-PG) She and Tony Parker share couple stuff à la Mike Tyson and Robin Givens. Oh, bad analogy. More like Liza and David. You know what, let's just move on...
I've Got a Secret (GSN, TV-14-D) GSN revives the 1952 panel game show, in which celebs used a series of yes/no questions to uncover the mystery hidden by average Joe contestants. Host Bil Dwyer ably fills in for Steve Allen, but the current panel of ''personalities,'' like former MLB player Billy Bean, misses the mark. While sly innuendo made the original a delightful battle of words and wit, this coarse, unfunny mess is a Secret not worth keeping. C- Paul Katz
(Additional reporting by Kate Sullivan)