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Doc Jensen's Diary, Part 5

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TERRY O'QUINN

So here we are in the jungle — and you're still on crutches.
I'll be glad when that's over — and it will be over. Soon.

What have you made of Locke's journey this season?
I get the impression now after shooting what we've shot and what we're about to shoot that he's a pretty desperate man. He's trying to get a hold of something, and just about anything will do. But when it takes hold, it takes hold hard, and when it shakes him off, he's heartbroken. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He just wants something to believe in.

In the episode ''?,'' Locke reached a critical point — he has come to believe that the island has been playing him for a fool. What did you make of that revelation?
That was a difficult to episode to shoot, because I'm a lot more cynical than John Locke. Not cynical — skeptical. So I don't buy into things as quickly, don't jump into things as wholeheartedly, so I have to suspend my disbelief real hard. It takes all my muscles to do that. Poor guy. I love Locke. But it's tough being his friend. I kinda want to protect him, but he just doesn't want to be protected.

In the first season, Lost was focused on establishing its characters. This season, it has focused on building mythology. What has making this transition been like for you?
I've told people — and I've told the producers — that I miss the old John Locke. I miss John Locke in the woods. I wish he hadn't found those goddamn buttons sometimes. And now I think John Locke thinks that, too. So I miss the guy who made the cradles and hunted the boar and communed with nature. Now he's in a concrete box. Remarkably similar to his past life. [Laughs] I miss him.

Maybe the show will get back to that Locke next year?
I have no idea. Nothing would make me happier. But John Locke's ups and downs reflect everybody's. I can't always choose. You like to choose the way your life goes. But at the very least it's interesting. It's not always what you would choose, but that's life.

One of the season's most memorable moments was Locke trapped under the wall and seeing that mysterious Dharma map in the black light. What was it like being pinned under there?
That was a bad week. I had a cold. Everybody got sick. When somebody gets sick, everybody gets sick on a film set. I had a cold, didn't have much of a voice. But it's great working with Michael Emerson [Henry Gale]. That episode turned out better than I thought. When I read the script I thought, ''This is going to be miserable — or uninteresting. Me, lying under a door.'' But these guys always surprise me.

Do you pay attention to fan theories?
I paid a bit of attention last year. Not the theoretical stuff, because there is no point. I don't get a prize for being right. And if I guess and I get something in my head, then I might be wrong. So I don't pay any attention to theories and pay less attention to the talk because... people might affect my mood or my performance. I would love to speak with people; I love to meet people. But I don't talk about the show much.

So does fan theorizing get in the way of making the show?
No. It just means the show is strong. I love that people talk about it; I'm so grateful about that. But I have two concerns with my work: having good things to act, and getting paid. In that order. Although if you're not getting paid well, that order can change. But that's what I'm concerned about. Good scenes. Decent money.

Has it been hard trudging through the jungle on crutches?
I think the island is going to work some magic on me, but it's a little frustrating. It's just one more anchor on John Locke. I think he's lost. I think he got lost in the Hatch. Even if it is everything that they say it is — push the button, don't push the button something terrible will happen — I still think that's not who he is. Not his place. His place is on the journey, venturing into the mystery of the island, trying to come to a place of deeper understanding, and not necessarily answers.

Can a show that's all about a journey of faith be truly satisfying? At some point, don't you have to arrive at a destination?
I think it can be a satisfying theme if it's written well. That's completely up to the way it's presented. Everybody wants to know if there's a prize at the bottom of the box. There has to be something more than understanding. There has to be... a car! Maybe there will be. Maybe there won't be. But in my heart of hearts, I hope it doesn't have to be. I only hope there is clarity and peace. For me, it's all about character. The story is something that carries the character along, and that's up to the writer to come up with something that's interesting. It's my job to fulfill the story and imbue it with character.

Ever ask the writers how Locke lost the use of his legs?
No. I think I did once, early on, but gave up after realizing it was like breaking into Fort Knox with a can opener.

Do you have your own theory?
Nope. No idea. I'm just going to wait and see.