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''Oh, great, we're being stalked by Devo.''
JOHNNY DRAMA (KEVIN DILLON), AFTER BEING FOLLOWED BY SCOOTER-RIDING NERDS, ON ENTOURAGE
''I just love funny people. Funny people are great, and soooooo hilarious.''
BRITNEY SPEARS, DISCUSSING HER WILL & GRACE GUEST-STARRING STINT WITH MATT LAUER, ON DATELINE NBC
''You were in Baghdad for six hours! And you weren't even in the real Baghdad — you were in the Green Zone. That's like going to the Olive Garden and saying you've been to Italy.''
JON STEWART, REACTING TO PRESIDENT BUSH'S TOUTING HIS TRIP TO IRAQ, ON THE DAILY SHOW
''Loosen your belts, America — I'm gonna forcefeed you truth like grain down a goose's gullet.''
STEPHEN COLBERT, ON THE COLBERT REPORT
''The state of Texas has put webcams on the Mexican border so people can sit at their home computers and look for illegal aliens trying to cross into the U.S. The website is free, but it costs five dollars if you want the illegal aliens to talk dirty to you.''
CONAN O'BRIEN, ON LATE NIGHT
''Do the models get mad that the receptionist is hotter?''
BRIAN, HITTING ON AUDRINA AT THE PHOTO STUDIO WHERE SHE WORKS, ON THE HILLS
''They found $145,000 dollars worth of marijuana at a Home Depot. I was shocked. I've been to Home Depot, I can never find anything.''
DAVID LETTERMAN, ON THE LATE SHOW
