What to Watch for week of July 14, 2006

Reubens plays house in 'Pee-wee'

Monday

MUST WATCH OF THE WEEK
SERIES RETURN
11-11:30PM
Pee-wee's Playhouse (Cartoon, TV-PG) I've finally located the root cause of my short attention span. Growing up, I never missed Paul Reubens' (left) incomparable Saturday-morning show, in which alter ego Pee-wee Herman welcomed friends and freaks for sing-alongs, dance parties, and immature shenanigans. Twenty years later, all 45 episodes of Playhouse return for another run, and they still hold enormous cross-generational sway; the best bits — sassy banter with Jambi the Genie, those creepy-cool ''Penny'' cartoons, and anything involving Mrs. Steve — still seem ahead of their time. Feel free to relive the madness...but keep a bottle of Ritalin handy. A —Nicholas Fonseca

SERIES DEBUT
8-8:30PM
Beach Patrol: Miami Beach (Court TV, TV-14) Uncle! We give! Between Click, tone-deaf Germans, America's Got Talent, and this ripped-from-Baywatch reality show, we'll never escape David Hasselhoff. We...we accept that now.

8-9PM
I Love the '70s: Volume 2 (VH1) Omagah! Lisa Lisa is one of the celebrity talking heads?! How geeked are we? From head to toe.

9-10PM
The Closer (TNT, TV-14) You'd think finding a dead body in Provenza's garage would be the worst part. But then they misplace it.

SERIES DEBUT
9-10PM
Caught in the Moment (Animal Planet, TV-G) Former lovebirds are now wildlife filmmaker pals. A fiver says their knickers drop when the ratings do.

9-10PM
Baseball's Secret Formula (Science, TV-G) ''Sabermetrics'' shakes up the stats. Wassamatter, players? Y'all skeered?

9-10PM
Hell's Kitchen (Fox, TV-14-L) We need a battle of the beyotches between Top Chef's Tiffani and Hell's spawn Sara — to the death. No, wait! To the pain.

9-11PM
Not Like Everyone Else (Lifetime, TV-PG) Arrested Development's Alia Shawkat stars in this true post-Columbine tale of a girl accused of casting spells on her teacher.

10-11PM
How to Get the Guy (ABC, TV-PG) You broke up with the Book Club, now dump this Guy. Yeah, it's summer and you're bored — but honestly, I don't know what you see in him.

SERIES DEBUT
10-11PM
The World Series of Pop Culture (VH1, TV-PG) Who are you people?! Yes, America, we expect you to know everything from Leonardo DiCaprio to Leonard Part 6. But as evidenced by this quiz show from VH1 and EW, you've taken pop culture to pop cult. Quick! Who has a best solo rap performance Grammy? Who toted a Kitty Carryall doll? What film had the tagline ''Does for rock and roll what The Sound of Music did for hills''? That get your heart pumping? We thought so.