Hottest Movie Brought to You by the Letter 'P'
RUNNERS-UP
Poseidon: Not the most encouraging beginning to our summer at the
multiplex. Despite some very expensive-looking special effects and the
unexpected deaths of several movie stars, it — like most cruises — turned
out to be a supposedly fun thing we'll never do again.... Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest: May have conquered the box office, but the
epic, CGI-riddled mess sure didn't conquer our hearts (which stinks,
because we really, really wanted it to be awesome).... Plane, Snakes on a: Had tremendous buzz, then revealed itself, shockingly, to be a movie
about snakes. On a plane. So, like, what do you guys wanna use the
Internet for now?
WINNER
Prada, The Devil Wears. How best to describe Meryl Streep's icy
performance as editor-from-hell Miranda Priestly? Perfection, that's
all. This completely charming film also taught us that we're suckers for
any makeover montage set to Madonna's ''Vogue,'' that Adrian Grenier is
cute even when he's broke, and that the staff of EW would last about
half a day at a fashion magazine.
Best Comeback
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A post-rehab Jason Mewes reclaimed his slacker crown in Clerks II; Tom
Petty took four years to release melancholy gem Highway Companion, then
set out with the Heartbreakers on the summer's best tour; Scott Smith
hit the best-seller list with The Ruins, his first novel since 1993's A
Simple Plan; after a string of disappointments, Will Ferrell reminded us
he's still the funniest dude in underpants, thanks to Talladega Nights.
WINNER
Al Gore. With An Inconvenient Truth, he scared us to death — and
somehow became more likable at the same time.
Worst Replacement for The Comeback
WINNER
Flaccidly unfunny HBO sitcom Lucky Louie.
Best Entourage Cameo
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The late Bruno Kirby as a mogul who's just a bit too attached to his
Shrek doll; Seth Green as what we can only hope is a highly
fictionalized jerkface version of himself; James Woods as what we can
only hope is...yep, him too.
WINNER
Martin Landau. If we told you the ancient actor could hold his
own against a bunch of hotshot kids, is that something you might be
interested in?
Biggest Sport
WINNER
Soccer. Cars and Talladega Nights may have combined for $354 million,
but we'll take Zidane's bizarre World Cup head butt and former
footballer Gordon Ramsay's addictive Hell's Kitchen over the long left
turn of NASCAR any day.
Biggest Scene-Stealer: Male
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Ian McKellen's double shot of nasty in The Da Vinci Code and X3; Sacha
Baron Cohen's French menace in Talladega Nights; Philip Seymour
Hoffman's eerie Tom Cruise impression in M:I-3.
WINNER
David Hasselhoff. Sobbing at the American Idol finale, yammering
nonsense on America's Got Talent, that ''Jump in My Car'' YouTube video:
We couldn't take our eyes off the Hoff.
This Summer In Hubris Award
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Freebie-lovin' Star Jones Reynolds got kicked off The View; M. Night
Shyamalan played a writer destined to save the world in his abysmal Lady
in the Water; despite his claims to the contrary, Mel Gibson clearly did
not ''own'' Malibu.
WINNER
Rob Schneider, who announced that as a half Jew, he'd never work
with Mel. But we were so looking forward to Deuce Bigalow: Holy Land Gigolo.
