''It's never a good sign when you scare your child with your haircut.''
ROSIE O'DONNELL, DISCUSSING HER SON'S REACTION TO HER ''LESBIAN HAIRCUT,'' ON THE VIEW
''Look here, I'm a 42-year-old mama wearin' a corset. I don't need to be doin' no stretches.''
RUNNER-UP FAT MAMA, EXPLAINING WHY SHE'S NOT WARMING UP FOR STUNT SCHOOL, ON WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO?
''I was the one who recommended that they downsize.''
DEAN (ANDY MILDER), AFTER HIS FIRM FIRED HIM, ON WEEDS
''You have to admit, it made the speech a lot more interesting.''
CNN ANCHOR KYRA PHILLIPS' NO. 1 EXCUSE FOR LEAVING HER MICROPHONE ON IN THE BATHROOM DURING A PRESIDENTIAL SPEECH, ON DAVID LETTERMAN'S LATE SHOW TOP TEN LIST
''You lost to a guy in a green leotard.''
JULIE CHEN, TO DANIELLE, AFTER SHE WAS VOTED OUT BEFORE CHICKEN GEORGE, ON BIG BROTHER: ALL-STARS
''Donald Trump has fired his trusty left-hand girl, Carolyn Kepcher....When George Ross was asked to comment on the situation, he said, 'I like peas when they're crushed up.' ''
JOEL McHALE, ON THE SOUP
''You're a mess just standing. So I mean traveling you're going to be like a homeless person.''
JUDGE MICHAEL KORS, TO CONTESTANT ANGELA, WHO IS MODELING HER ''JET-SETTER'' LOOK, ON PROJECT RUNWAY
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