Chris Miller's escapades at Dartmouth's Alpha Delta Phi fraternity inspired 1978's Animal House he's Pinto and his ''mostly lucid'' memoir, The Real Animal House, confirms epic debauchery. Yes, the brothers once used a girl's obituary to get dates. And one raced his motorcycle down the house stairs. Now Miller exhumes the most lurid exploits deemed too nasty for the film (even his seemingly benign nickname has a crass origin). Unfortunately, there are no fascist preps or Nixonian deans at odds with the beer-swilling slobs. In lieu of a compelling narrative, Miller offers an exhausting collection of tawdry ''You had to be there'' stories.