Movie Article

Coming Attractions

Once the big guns of December are here and gone, this is what you'll have to look forward to at the movies in January 2007. Good luck.

JUSTIN TIME Timberlake (l) and Emile Hirsch, coming to a theatre near you in Alpha Dog on Jan 12
Image credit: Alpha Dog: Darren Michaels
JUSTIN TIME Timberlake (l) and Emile Hirsch, coming to a theatre near you in Alpha Dog on Jan 12

CODE NAME: THE CLEANER Cedric the Entertainer plays a janitor with amnesia who thinks he's a special agent. Somewhat more plausible is Nicollette Sheridan as a woman in a tight skirt. (Jan. 5)

HAPPILY N'EVER AFTER Cinderella's evil stepmother leads a group of fairy-tale baddies to eliminate the happy ending. (Anyone with an explanation for the apostrophe in that title should drop us a line.) (Jan. 5)

ALPHA DOG A movie so intertwined with the true story of an alleged drug dealer's downfall that it actually affected the guy's trial: The DA in the case was recused after divulging too much info to the filmmakers. Oh, and Justin Timberlake's in it. (Jan. 12)

FREEDOM WRITERS For this to look any more like Dangerous Minds, Hilary Swank would have to be played by Michelle Pfeiffer. (Don't hold your breath for a Coolio comeback, though.) (Jan. 12)

STOMP THE YARD Take Bring It On and replace the cheering with the black fraternity tradition of step dancing, then give the whole thing a light dusting of You Got Served. (Jan. 12)

PATHFINDER At the opposite end of the derivative scale we find this epic, the movie that dares to answer the age-old question, What would happen if bloodthirsty, skull-wearing Vikings came to North America in A.D. 900 and started slaughtering Indians? (Jan. 12)

THE ITALIAN Russia's entry for Best Foreign Language Film in this year's Oscars tells the story of 6-year-old Vanya, an orphan who sets off in search of his birth mother (a.k.a. Madonna's worst nightmare). (Jan. 19)

THE LAST LEGION The Roman Empire is crumbling, and the only man who can save it is Colin Firth. In a skirt. No one here is complaining. (Jan. 19)

BLOOD & CHOCOLATE Agnes Bruckner and Hugh Dancy star in this movie, which proves once again how hard it is to find love in this world, especially if you are a werewolf. (Jan. 26)

CATCH AND RELEASE Jennifer Garner plays a woman whose fiancé dies, then a bunch of adorably wacky/poignant stuff happens, some of it involving Kevin Smith! (Jan. 26)

THE INVISIBLE Stars cute, cute Justin Chatwin as a kid trying to solve his own murder. (Jan. 26)

THE HOST Seoul is terrorized by a giant monster. Hey Seoul! Tokyo called. It wants its plot back. (Jan. 26)

Originally posted Nov 09, 2006