The former ER star is now a memoirist. ''I kind of need to inventory my life,'' says the Colombian/Puerto Rican comic, 42. Here, EW helps him take stock.
MIAMI VICE 1987 (Ivan Calderone)
''I was 19. I played a guest villain. And I sucked. They'd be like, 'That's great, you're a genius.' I'm a genius at sucking.''
CASUALTIES OF WAR 1989 (Pfc. Diaz)
''My first [Sean] Penn film. He's so Method he slapped me 40 times for real, I had to mumble because my face swelled. He'd go, 'One more take.' I'd say, 'Dude, I can't.'''
MAMBO MOUTH 1991 (Playwright/Himself)
''My first theater piece. I didn't know if people were going to dig it. All of a sudden Madonna's [in the audience]. Incredible.''
TO WONG FOO, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING... 1995 (Chi Chi)
''I was so sexy I'd do myself. Patrick Swayze didn't [have fun]. I think he became the character and was PMS-ing.''
ROMEO + JULIET 1996 (Tybalt)
''This was fun off the set and on. [Leo and I] were bad boys behaving badly in Mexico, girls dancing on tabletops, fights in clubs.''
SUMMER OF SAM 1999 (Vinny)
''Spike [Lee] is demanding. I love it. I'm tired of lazy directors who don't give a f--- and just want to meet chicks. It's like, Party after or before, but don't party when I'm on camera.''
PIMPS, HOS, PLAYA HATAS, AND ALL THE REST OF MY HOLLYWOOD FRIENDS 2006
''It's premature, I know, to write an autobiography, but...young people who come from nothing can see that they can make it.''