''The Real World'': Ty's gotta have it
''I need some ass. I know what I want. I know when I want it. Why should I bulls--- about it?'' Oh, Tyrie, you're never one to beat around the bush, are you? With that, we can say goodbye to the violent Leroy Jenkins of last week (at least I'm hoping we can) and hello to Dark Kent Ty's ''smooth, sexual, sensual side.''
So what does Dark Kent do when he needs some ass? He goes out immediately and hunts for it. It certainly didn't take him too long to capture his prey he met his first victim, Ashley, right away, and his second victim, Jazalle, the very next night. (On a side note: I found it funny when Tyrie said, ''There was this girl there named Ashley, and the second she walks in the door, she has her eyes glued on me,'' because I'm sure it wasn't Ty's overwhelming charm that made her stare it was the cameras that were following him around.)
I have to say I am impressed that Ty got both girls' digits and actually called them. (Admit it, ladies, it's so annoying when a guy asks for your number and never calls.) How ironic, though, was it that Jazalle and Ashley were both planning to go to ''Reggae on the Rooftop'' night at Vinyl? I loved Ty's response to the predicament: ''Oh, I got more games than Parker Brothers. I got more variations on my game than Monopoly.'' Do you think he had those lines prepared and was just waiting for the perfect moment to use them?
Anyway, when Dark Kent reached this fork in the road, he sought help from the one person in the house who's an expert on juggling two women at once: Alex, whose brilliant advice was ''Tell them both you'll meet them up at Vinyl, then just see which one you're vibing with better.'' Or how about meeting up with them on separate nights? Nah, too uncomplicated for The Real World.
Was I the only one who had a hard time telling Ashley and Jazalle apart when they both showed up at Reggae on the Rooftop wearing very similar white tank tops? (Maybe this was a failed attempt by the producers to confuse Ty. Hey, I wouldn't put it past them.) Ty ended up picking Jazalle to be his lucky lady, and Stephen did one heck of a job playing wingman the rest of the night. He even came up with a ridiculous excuse that there's a limit on the number of guests allowed in the house at one time in order to prevent a meet-and-greet between Ty's women. Way to think on your feet, Stephen!
Stephen proved to be less sure-footed at skiing. At least he tried, though, unlike most of the other roommates, who stayed home after Davis made an effort to get them all together to do something besides drinking. I felt bad for Davis when his group-bonding plans fell through, but Ty made up for it later when he confronted the rude guy at the bar on 666 night (translation: June 6, 2006) who came up to Davis and asked, ''Are you a fag?''
Fortunately, the incident was settled nonviolently. Looks like Leroy Jenkins really has left the premises. Now we'll have to wait and see if Dark Kent will be able to get Jazalle to loosen up on her rule of no sex for four months. (Who sets an exact schedule like that and actually follows through with it anyway?)
What do you think? Will Jazalle be on more episodes, or is this the last we'll see of her? Does Stephen actually enjoy being Tyrie's wingman? And why in the world would Brooke ever tell us, ''I love to look like a whore!''?