Book Article

Pornocopia

The name of your first pet + the street that you grew up on = sheer hilarity

David Duchovny | MAGIC NUMBER Duchovny's porn number, er, name is Jester Second Avenue
Image credit: David Duchovny: Armando Gallo/Retna
MAGIC NUMBER Duchovny's porn number, er, name is Jester Second Avenue

JAY LENO ''Bruce Leland, but I prefer Rex Tripod.''

MEGAN MULLALLY (''Will & Grace'') ''Taffy Huntington -- but my actual porn-star name was something different. You'll have to do the research.''

RITA WILSON ''Tom [Hanks, her hubby] and I figured this out once. I'm Frisky Wilson -- I actually lived on Wilson.''

JERI RYAN ''Dolly Daytona. With 'Voyager' ending, I may have to use that.''

HALLE BERRY (''Swordfish'') ''Bumper Hawkins.''

FRED DURST (Limp Bizkit) ''Dusty Esperanza -- sounds pretty porno.''

TERI POLO (''Meet the Parents'') ''Sasha Sackarackin -- and I've got the rack for it, right?''

CHERI OTERI (''SNL'') ''Katt Ardmore. I had a dog named Katt, who was the town ho-bag. She had five litters of puppies.''

SEANN WILLIAM SCOTT (''Evolution'') ''Loverboy 75.''

LUCY LIU (''Charlie's Angels'') ''Candy 76.''

WHOOPI GOLDBERG ''Parrot 10 -- that's pretty bad.''

SHANNON ELIZABETH (''American Pie 2'') ''Angel Valley Crest. I should use that when I stay in hotels.''

RAY ROMANO ''I know this is hard to believe, but it's Penny Big Crotch. I lived on Big Crotch Avenue.''

DAVID DUCHOVNY (''Evolution'') ''Jester Second Avenue.''

RACHEL GRIFFITHS (''Six Feet Under'') ''Mine's really embarrassing: Fudgy Coronation. It's got bad connotations.''

ELLEN DeGENERES ''I lived with my dog Happy on Herring Road, so I'd be Happy Herring. Wow, I think I win!''

DUSTIN HOFFMAN ''Sandy Orange.''

PAUL WALKER (''The Fast and the Furious'') ''Oatmeal Windgate.''

DON CHEADLE (''Swordfish'') ''I have one. Buck Swope [in 'Boogie Nights'] will forever be my porno name.''

ORLANDO JONES (''Evolution'') ''Spade French. That's a good one. Pimpin' ain't easy.''

Originally posted Jun 28, 2001
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