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Image credit: Alicia Keys: Scott Gries/ImageDirect

HUMBLEST WINNER
After grabbing the Best Male Video award for ''Southside,'' Moby insisted on reminding EW.com that the last couple of years he's been nominated for two different awards, losing both times. ''In all honesty I think I'm kind of accustomed to losing. That kind of consistency is comfortable since you don't have to do acceptance speeches. You get to stay seated.'' And how to celebrate his award? ''In typical rock star style. Smoke crack with hookers? That's what everybody does. Seriously, I was gonna go out to dinner to Lucky Strike 'cause they're open late.''

DIRECTOR'S MASTER PLAN
Spike Jonze (''Being John Malkovich'') explained the genius behind his winning video, ''Weapon of Choice,'' starring Christopher Walken as a soft-shoe dancer: ''Actually we got Christopher Walken because -- look at him -- he's funny. And we didn't have to teach him too much. We shot the video right before Christmas at a Marriott hotel in Los Angeles over two days because it was cheap and because it's symmetrical.''

FILM THEORY, PART TWO
Let's see if U2's Bono -- whose video for ''Beautiful Day'' lost out to ''Weapon of Choice'' -- can do a better job explaining why Fatboy Slim's clip is so cool: ''I can't get enough of that video. I'm glad it won, even if it did beat me out. We've got mainstream appeal but what could top Christopher Walken flying in mid-air in that ridiculous suit?''

WELL WISHER
Asked to comment about events in the news, Mary J. Blige brought up the absent Mariah Carey, whose hospitalization was reported this week: ''People need to realize at the end of the day, everybody's a human being whether they have millions of dollars or not. Mariah worked for everything she has. She's a human being and everybody really needs to lighten up. Period. If it was you, you'd be crying and you wouldn't like it either.''

BUSIEST WOMAN ON EARTH
Alicia Keys, the VMA's Best New Artist, has her priorities in order: ''I'm shooting a video on Sunday, then I tour from next month until the end of October, and then I'm heading over to Europe. I'm also participating with other artists like Bono, Usher, Christina Aguilera, Nelly, and 'N Sync to bring awareness to the world about Third World debt, especially with children in Africa. But dag, I need a nap now.'' We do, too.