10. ''Don't You Want Me,'' Jody Watley

Oh, the '80s. You and I have such a challenging relationship. I love you, I really do. But when you hand me something like this — a song with way too many clicky-dingy noises and the same approximate weight as a not particularly aggressive dust bunny — I just don't know what to do. It sounds like Jody went to the mall and recorded this in one of those SoundTrax booths, like where we went for my birthday in sixth grade and my friends and I did a killer version of ''Danger Zone'' before heading to the pool for cupcakes and chicken fights. Often, when I hear singles like this, I think we could have made some money off that version of ''Danger Zone.'' Honestly, this thing has more air than a Twinkie. It's got less gravitas than a Teletubbie. It goes nowhere and does nothing, and I'm afraid it doesn't give me much hope for what's ahead on this chart, kids, because I remember liking Jody Watley. C-