All right, enough kvetching about a 60-minute episode that zipped by in what felt more like 30. Clearly, Idol's doing a few things right, and it's high time I listed 'em.
1. Keep bringing music to our ears Not every Hollywood-bound contestant needs a five-minute interview package to get our attention. That triple shot of Hollywood-bound singers — Elizabeth Erkert, Denise Jackson, and Michael Sanfilippo — meant we got to hear a total of nine golden-ticket recipients (out of 19 Omaha success stories) instead of just six. And Elizabeth's accidental remark about proving to Simon that she was on her way to becoming America's Next Top Model was a priceless blooper for the reality-TV-obsessed. Now imagine if the producers had cut another 90 seconds of fat from the episode — maybe the listless ''Stuck in the Middle With You'' medley — and showcased an additional trio of potential superstars.
Ah well, at least we got a look at a pair of legitimate Top 24 prospects tonight, via Samantha Sidley and David Cook. Slight lisp and wallflower demeanor aside, Samantha's cover of Norah Jones' ''Don't Know Why'' was as buttery good as a Pillsbury biscuit, and while Paula was right that her ''showmanship needs a little improvement,'' I saw glimmers of star quality in her responses to the judges' game of musical chairs (more on that in a second).
Likewise, David's personality occasionally seemed limited to the red highlights in his bangs and his argyle sweater vest, but he changed up Bon Jovi's lamebrained ''Livin' on a Prayer'' with such languid beauty that I'm itching to hear what he'll do if he advances to Idol's big stage.
2. Keep letting the judges play Simon's suggestion that Paula and Ryan temporarily swap jobs was worth it, if only for the cranky Brit's gut-bustingly funny instructions to Paula: ''You go be insincere for five minutes. Ryan can be a judge. Just pretend to like the contestants.''
The only thing funnier all evening was Paula's shotgun blast of a hiccup in the midst of Johnny Escamilla's audition to ''Shout.'' Simon escalated the comedy by dropping his paper, narrowing his eyes at Paula, and snarling, ''You disgusting little pig.'' By the time the gold-clad teenager closed his eyes and began caterwauling along with the wedding band playing somewhere in the back of his head, and Simon finally got honest (''I've got to tell you, in every single way, that was just everything I hate — from the jacket, the singing, the dancing...everything''), I'd had my longest laugh of the season.
3. Keep embracing the gay! From the aforementioned (and fierce) Top Model and the always entertaining Project Runway to the treacherous Survivor, reality TV has always been a gay-friendly environment. And that's why in previous Idol seasons, the grade-school-level ''Eww! You're gay!'' banter between Ryan and Simon (not to mention the unsubtle mockery of fey male contestants) has been so depressing.
Imagine my surprise and delight, then, when 23-year-old Leo Marlowe wryly introduced himself to Randy, Paula, and Simon with this zinger — ''My mom always said she raised a perfect homecoming queen; too bad it wasn't one of her daughters'' — and then proceeded to deliver a tuneful, potent reading of Donnie Hathaway's ''Song for You.'' No, maybe it wasn't exactly a ''touchdown,'' as Paula declared, but Leo certainly got close to the end zone on more than just his personality. Whaddaya know: I just made a football reference in my Idol TV Watch, and Simon commended a gay contestant for being ''open and not defensive.'' Maybe a seven-season-old dog can, in fact, learn some new tricks.
What did you think of tonight's episode? Are you missing a little bit of Simon's mean spice? Were you happy you got to see almost half of the successful auditioners? And do you think Leo might actually have a shot at the top 24?
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