Now let me get this straight for a second. There was no time in tonight's telecast for, say, a 90-second solo (or duet) spot for Kristy Lee Cook, Ramiele Malubay, Chikezie, Amanda Overmyer, or David Hernandez, and yet Myers got to dress up as ''Guru Pitka'' and make an absolutely stomach-turning remark about 17-year-old contestant David Archuleta growing ''hair in weird and wonderful places.'' Are you freakin' kidding me?
The Love Guru shtick was an affront to Idol viewers not just because it was less funny than a steel-toed boot to the throat — did Myers pick that ''winner's name will be David'' line off Seacrest's scrap heap of rejected cue cards? — but because we all know Fox is already generating massive revenues from its ad spots, from sales of the finalists' current and future releases, and from all the relentless product placement for Ford, iTunes...actually, let me not continue their work for them, right?
On a similar note, let's all make a vow right here, right now: Boycott The Love Guru, opening June 20 nationwide! (The only way I'll go is, perhaps, for an installment of PopWatch's ongoing series. See how my love for you extends beyond the Idol season?)
Thankfully, the awful opening 1,200 seconds of the show quickly gave way to a series of musical performances that were so splendid that, honestly and truly, I kept forgetting that the point of the telecast was to crown one of the Davids as King of the Nokia.
There was the season's uncontested fashion champion, Syesha Mercado, resplendent in a sexy gray dress, holding her own alongside Seal on his recent single ''Waiting for You.'' Yeah, the sound mix was a little janky, and there were shades of Elliott Yamin's season 5 performance with Mary J. Blige (where the young Idol contestant seemed excessively deferential to the more famous duet partner), but no matter. It was nice to see Syesha have her moment and prove her voice need not (and should not) be slapped with a ''Theater!'' stamp and shipped off to Broadway (or whatever port the current touring company of Chicago will arrive at next).
Perhaps even more impressive, Syesha managed to outshine the slightly unsteady Donna Summer as they played pass the mike during the ladies' rendition of ''Last Dance.'' (Anyone else wonder about the decision to introduce the disco legend by having a pair of dudes walk her, invalid-style, down that long flight of stairs, rather than have her simply emerge more gracefully from the wings?) And while the Summer medley wasn't particularly thrilling, I did get a momentary rush of giddiness hearing Amanda Overmyer wrap her husky growl around the opening verse of ''Hot Stuff.''
Still, for my money, the night's most delightful pairing had to be Brooke White and Graham Nash on ''Teach Your Children.'' Sitting on a stool, barefoot, strumming her guitar and harmonizing with a folk-rock legend, the G-rated nanny looked and sounded completely in her element, and her post-performance exclamation of ''Graham Nash, wow!'' was as genuine a moment as Idol has seen all season. After several weeks of watching Brooke's confidence falter under the competitive pressure of the Idol juggernaut, resulting in her eventual fifth-place finish, it was especially satisfying to see her re-emerge tonight as a soulful artist performing music for the simple joy of it.
NEXT: The finalists play frontman
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