Like a slasher-film psycho, John Ryder (Sean Bean), the homicidal road-rage terrorist who haunts a couple of college kids (Zachary Knighton and Sophia Bush) heading off for spring break, can show up anytime, anywhere: in a family's station wagon, in a police interrogation room (how the heck did he get in there?), in your dreams. That's the reason The Hitcher, a remake of the 1986 suspense ''classic,'' is as processed and hoot-worthy as the original. Sean Bean, in the role Rutger Hauer sneered through, has a toxic charm, but about all the movie is effective at is insulting the audience.

