TV Recap

The Jenn Game

On ''The Real World,'' Jenn and Alex hook up just as Colie's boyfriend pays her a visit

BFF U: Jenn had promised Colie that she would stay away from Alex out of respect for their friendship
BFF U: Jenn had promised Colie that she would stay away from Alex out of respect for their friendship

''The Real World'': Alex and Jenn do it again

Does anyone else love the part in the opening credits of The Real World: Denver when, right after ''seven strangers!'' a guy (Davis, I think) says, ''What's wrong with me?'' It's perfect. I wonder the same thing every time I watch this show.

Hey, everyone! I'm subbing in for your regular Real World columnist, Lindsay Soll, while she's out on assignment. I have to admit I've missed an ep here and there this season, because...well, just because. Some weeks I opt to destroy brain cells in other ways. But I'll do my best.

A sensitive, attractive, generally top-notch guy named Corey is in love with Colie, so he visited her in Denver. In the middle of the day, because there's nothing else they could possibly do with their time, the pair got hammered with Alex and Jenn, who decided to hook up for the hell of it, but not before Jenn licked each of Alex's facial features while making rabid-animal eyes. Is that hot? Are noses delicious?

It's hot enough. The foursome went back to the house to do it, in pairs, while other roommates feigned reactions just because the camera was there and they guessed they had to. Everyone looks pretty bored at this point, to be honest. But Alex's friend Brett (way to make your pal feel welcome in your home, Alex) had strong feelings on Alex hooking up in his own bed: ''You don't s--- where you sleep.'' According to him, by having sex with Jenn, Alex was ''f---ing taking a diarrhea dump where he f---ing sleeps.''

Whoa. I didn't know Jenn and Alex were into that.

What? Bean-eating contests!

Meanwhile, Brooke and Jenn made amends after last week's Brooke freakout. They'd like to thank alcohol and cigarettes, because without them, this scenario never would have happened. My favorite part of the Brooke-Jenn ''turmoil'' was when Jenn said, ''I don't think she's a whore,'' and then the cameras cut to Brooke decidedly not being a whore while sitting alone at the computer. Hmm. Whore or no whore? Give me another shot of Brooke so I can decide! No, not the Electric Slide one! Nooooooooo!

I've had it with Colie. She needs attention all the time. When she doesn't have a sidekick or someone to yell at, she is so incredibly boring on camera, and she knows it. Think about it. Her most compelling individual story line thus far has been mono. Mono! Even Stephen could have made that tragedy less pathetic.

And poor Corey. Here's a guy who agrees to show up in Denver, non-blurred, and hang out with the housemate his girlfriend claims to be into. He even told Colie he'll switch religions and do whatever else it'll take to marry her. And all he gets is some pity nookie and an ''I really care about Corey'' in a confessional. I'm going to give Colie some credit here and say I honestly can't tell if she loves Corey or not. What I do know is that she's willing to throw away her actual relationship, from real life (remember that, hon? you're gonna need to go back to it), for the chance to be the center of some entirely senseless boy drama on television. Can ''having conversations'' with Alex be that important? Really?

As Tyrie pointed out, Colie just needs to let the Alex thing go and stand on her own for a while. It'd be a win-win for everyone. Alex and Jenn are both pretty raunchy and not into the whole ''strings attached'' thing. Why shouldn't they mess around all the time? Herp it up, kids!

What do you think? Who was the most to blame in the totally contrived double hookup: Alex or Jenn? Whose bed will Brooke share next, since she can't sleep in her own? And was Colie in the hot tub not the perfect PSA for substance abuse?

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Originally posted Mar 01, 2007
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