Soon, though, ideas began flowing like Squishees. What if the Simpsons discover that their lives are being filmed for a reality show? What if Marge leaves Homer after he cluelessly rents out their house for a porn shoot and she becomes a manatee rescuer? (This second pitch, from Jean, was later developed into season 17's opener, ''Bonfire of the Manatees.'') But it wasn't until Groening mentioned an article he'd read about a community battling hog-waste pollution that the writers found their hammy inspiration for the plot: Homer adopts a pig and dumps a silo of its leavings into an already iffy Lake Springfield; an environmental catastrophe is triggered, turning Homer into public enemy numero uno and putting the town in dire jeopardy.
Wait. The movie hinges on...pig poop? ''When you put it that way, which is the truth, it sounds a little crude,'' says Jean, ''but we've done it in the most sophisticated, elegant, satirical fashion possible.''
After each writer penned a 20-page portion of the script, they met at the Simpsons production offices to stitch together their beast — a pastiche of wild jokes — and begin reworking. Fortunately they had a mentor in the multi-Oscared writer/director/producer Mr. Brooks. ''You couldn't just slap four episodes together and call it a movie,'' says Scully. ''You need to let the audience into the emotion of the story. Sometimes when you are in a room full of guys, you're thinking of this really sweet Lisa line, but you just can't bring yourself to say it. And Jim is not afraid to find the heart.'' For a pivotal scene in which a crushed Marge bares her soul to Homer, Brooks would ask Julie Kavner for more than 100 takes. The result, according to Groening, ''is probably the most touching thing we've done in the history of the show.''
The screenwriters had to overcome more than mental obstacles, judging from the faint odor of Raid and musty uncle in the room. ''The carpet is covered with stains of sitcoms past,'' says Scully, ''and I think the Pauly Shore show was written in this room.'' Haunted by a cawing crow perched outside the door, they literally sweated out the script — the crappy AC unit was too loud to use — in this confined space, season after season. ''Most of the people in the room are used to running the show,'' says Groening. ''It could've been ugly, but it was really fun. Only a couple of times were there mock stranglings — you know, in the style of Homer strangling Bart. But that was never about content. It was about fatigue.''
Gradually, the movie's plot evolved. After Homer's toxic blunder, the Simpsons flee to Alaska, where Homer and Marge clash over whether to save Springfield. Meanwhile, Bart wonders if dorky saint Ned Flanders would be a better father than Homer, and Lisa falls for a green-activist Irish kid named Colin. In other news, Arnold Schwarzenegger is president, and the head of the EPA is evil.
In May 2005, 18 months after the writers' e-pig-phany, the voice actors — including Dan Castellaneta (Homer), Julie Kavner (Marge), Nancy Cartwright (Bart), Yeardley Smith (Lisa), Harry Shearer (Mr. Burns), and Hank Azaria (Wiggum) — received some surprising news. A script for a Simpsons movie had been written. ''I showed up, and the script — I couldn't believe it!'' exclaims Cartwright. ''It was thick. I'm spreading my fingers apart, trying to guess how much that is...'' Pause. ''That's, like, three inches!''
NEXT PAGE: ''I think if I felt any more pressure, I'd be a diamond''
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