TV Recap

Penultimate Warrior

On the season's next-to-last ''Heroes,'' Hiro learns samurai skills from his father just as the good guys join forces against Linderman and Sylar

Masi Oka, Heroes | SWORDED DETAIL How did Hiro learn to fight so fast?
Image credit: Heroes: Trae Patton
SWORDED DETAIL How did Hiro learn to fight so fast?

''Heroes'': The good guys join forces

One more episode to go!

Apparently tonight was ''kill the celebrity guest star'' night on Heroes. Goodbye, Eric Roberts! Goodbye, Malcolm McDowell! And not a wasted death moment between the two, either. In the first of tonight's two Corny Moments of Heroes Dialogue, Thompson asked Parkman, ''What am I thinking now?'' and H.R.G. stepped in with the Bond-like ''Your last thought.'' Then he shot him in the head. Two times. As Dave Chappelle as Rick James would say, ''Cold bloo-ded.'' Not bad, H.R.G. being a badass. I can dig it. Man was on a mission.

Corny Moment of Heroes Dialogue No. 2 was D.L.'s response to Linderman's musings on destiny: ''Your destiny is to give me back my son.'' Yeah, D.L.! That really showed him how hard you are. Months in jail and that's the best you can come up with? It was such an intimidating line that Linderman confidently walked over to Jessica and told her to kill her husband for $20 million. And she almost did before Niki made a comeback and D.L. blocked Linderman's bullet with his torso. Then he phased his fist into Linderman's head. One time. His hand came out dripping with brain matter, which would have had Sylar licking his chops. (Side note: Awesomely subtle special effect, the way Linderman's face went all slack. That was a special effect, wasn't it?)

I'm not going to say that D.L. is definitely dead (damn you, Mohinder, for making me look like a fool), but he was shot in the gut, and he did kill the only person in the area with the ability to heal others. One good guy who definitely did not make it, however, was our very own Geico caveman, Ted Sprague. As soon as Sylar called the Feds on him, I knew he was a goner, which is sad, because he was a stand-up guy. Even after getting told he was being sent to Guantánamo Bay (forget Sylar, that's truly frightening), he was still concerned for others, screaming out, ''I'm going to need a concrete cell. Lined with lead!'' so that he wouldn't hurt anyone else. Then, while being transported out of the city, Sprague was intercepted by Sylar, who (as Claire so succinctly put it) ripped his head open. Goodbye, Ted Sprague! You never had a chance, did you?

Nathan, however, had more than a chance to win his election, thanks to Micah and Candice (who apparently has some serious body-image issues, which must make that whole illusion thing come in handy). I must say I disliked the subtle attempt to make Candice a slightly more sympathetic character (Micah: ''You're nice, even when you're scary''), giving the boy a bunch of comics, including Silver Surfer No. 1. (If Sylarbomb is somehow stopped next Monday by the Silver Surfer, I'm going to assassinate my television.) So Nathan won by a landslide — 64 percent — and off he sent Niki and D.L. to take care of Linderman.

Brief aside. I know, I know, it's a TV show, but talk about ridiculous. Nathan walks into his office and looks at the TV polls, where he's at 36 percent. Literally two minutes later, he's jumped to 64 percent, the TV is declaring it a landslide victory despite the fact that the polls close at nine (it's still daylight out), and no one is questioning how weird it is that all of a sudden a candidate jumps 28 points? That's all I'm going to say about that.

Yet, out of all the story lines coming together after an entire season of buildup, I was most excited and frustrated by the Hiro-Ando plot — a position I increasingly find myself in. Yes, it was awesome to see Mr. Sulu go crazy with a samurai sword (by the way, ''Jittetsu Arms: Bladesmith'' is further proof that if one has a niche talent, there's room for it in the marketplace), awesome to see Hiro face off against his father, and awesome to see our formerly happy hero finally regain his sense of purpose. Still, is one day all is takes to learn how to wield a samurai sword? And did Ando really have to run off like that because he was convinced that Hiro had given up his mission? Dude, knock on the door! You know, just stick your head in and ask, ''Hiro, so, um, what's going on with this Sylar thing?'' (Laugh of the night, next to that brief, awkward, elevator-music-scored scene of Jessica giving Matt a dirty look, was Hiro's ''Now that I can stop Sylar, Ando doesn't have to die. He will be so relieved.'' I would be too, Hiro. I would be too.)

Now what do y'all think? With next week's season finale, are the heroes all going to team up finally? Is H.R.G. really going to put two in Molly's head? Will Sylar destroy half of New York? When Hiro said, ''I understand, Father: To save what is most important, I must be strong enough to cut out my own heart,'' did that mean he's going to kill Ando? Commit suicide? What the hell did that mean? And who else is going to die?

Finally, and most importantly, what are we all going to do with our Monday nights once Heroes is gone?

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Originally posted May 15, 2007
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