As any bride can tell you, it's hard not to get wrapped up in the romance or commercial insanity of planning a wedding. One Perfect Day, Rebecca Mead's informative, hilarious book about the $161 billion biz explains why: ''The foremost product peddled by the wedding industry is the notion that a wedding, if done right, will provide fulfillment of a hitherto unimagined degree, and will herald a similarly flawless marriage and a subsequent life of domestic contentment.'' One warning: Mead's globe-trotting research (she visits a Chinese gown-making factory and a Disney pavilion where couples use Cinderella's coach to tie the knot) can be so appalling, some readers might opt to elope. A-


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