Wack to the Future

Here's the drill: A fresh crop of sitcoms sprouts up in the fall. They grow into giant disasters that topple like eight-foot pines at Christmas. People panic, and networks scramble to plant new seeds for next year. While you suffer through Michael Richards and other foul-ups, chew on these notable comedy projects in development for next fall.

Think My Three Dads. Without the dads. The name speaks volumes: Town Slut. Want more info? It's a family sitcom for Fox (were you expecting The Learning Channel?) about a thirtysomething trying to salvage her rep after having three kids with three different fathers. So, would you like to tip off the Parents Television Council, or should we?

Hey, if Luke Perry can land a guest-starring gig on OZ...90210 alum Tori Spelling is close to signing on to a female buddy pilot for The WB, but Tiffani ''I'm Amber-free!'' Thiessen is already one step ahead. An in-the-works ABC show has Tiff playing a beer-chuggin' chick who reinvents herself as a babe after dropping her fiance and 70 pounds. It's called Something About Tiffani, but may we suggest Saved by the Belle?

But who'll write the theme song? Erstwhile Eagle Joe Walsh is likely to star in a part-scripted, part-improv NBC comedy pilot (co-penned by Drew Carey!) about a ho-hum accountant who works for a rock star. Not to be outshined, Sisqo is slated to headline an NBC sitcom about a dude who wins a reality-show jackpot and moves out to L.A. with his buds to pursue acting. Sure beats singing ''Thong Song'' for the 750,000th time.

Every runner-up receives free beer and wings! Our last entry isn't technically a sitcom, but we just had to share. In the proposed syndicated game show Who Wants to Date a Hooters Girl?, six dudes try to win a date with...a real live Hooters waitress! (Insert end-of-the-world soul-sucking sound here.)