Sound Bites

Sound Bites

TV's funniest lines from June 5 to 11. Read the expanded online-only version of our favorite quips, then vote for the best quote

''In the end, Brooke was eliminated because she was being slut-acious.''
MO'NIQUE, EXPLAINING HER JUDGING CRITERIA, ON FLAVOR OF LOVE GIRLS: CHARM SCHOOL

''Bush is a lame duck. You're just kind of lame.''
JUDGE ELON GOLD, TO A BAD EXCUSE FOR A GEORGE W. BUSH IMPERSONATOR, ON THE NEXT BEST THING

''Earlier tonight, after serving eight years in jail, assisted-suicide doctor Jack Kevorkian was on Larry King Live. When Kevorkian saw Larry King, he said, 'I swear, he was like that when I got here.'''
CONAN O'BRIEN, ON LATE SHOW

''I lit the match expecting to get the stink out of the air; I didn't light the match because I was standing in a tank of propane.''
ALTON, AFTER HIS FAILED ATTEMPT TO RECONCILE WITH HIS HOUSEMATE ARISSA, ON REUNITED: THE REAL WORLD LAS VEGAS

''The situation ain't all bad. I haven't had a green vegetable in over a week.''
TONY (JAMES GANDOLFINI), DESCRIBING THE VIRTUES OF HIS NEW ''HIDING FROM RUTHLESS MOB ASSASSINS'' DIET, ON THE SOPRANOS

''I'm going home to my 100 brothers and sisters; tonight's the night we get our food-stamp allowance.''
SARAH (AMANDA SEYFRIED), AT A SUPPORT-GROUP MEETING FOR EX-MORMONS, ON BIG LOVE

''But the judge hasn't.''
JOY BEHAR, AFTER BARBARA WALTERS REVEALED THAT PARIS HILTON TOLD HER, ''GOD HAS RELEASED ME,'' ON THE VIEW

Sound Bites Poll

Originally posted May 28, 2007 Published in issue #940 Jun 22, 2007 Order article reprints
Advertisement

Today's Most Popular

From Our Partners