What would you like to see each other do next professionally?
FELDMAN: I would love to see Corey find the greatest stretch, the hardest character, the most removed element from him and do it. I would be a huge fan of that work. I would just love to see anything that didn't represent him as Corey Haim, because I've seen enough of that. [Laughs]
HAIM: I've seen this kid do anything and everything, but I was thinking maybe he would take over and do a sequel to Lucas, called Pukas, and he'd be a drunk.
FELDMAN: That's a good idea. [Laughs] This is why he's the idea man.
HAIM: I don't know. Now, I could see Corey playing like an undercover C.I.A. operative like off the Tom Clancy books. I could see Corey doing a very, very, very, major, major, major big movie kinda like a 24 but not 24 — very intense, very dramatic.
FELDMAN: I think we should have Corey Haim reprise the role of Al Pacino in Scarface.
HAIM: [In accent] Are you talkin' to me, man? Hey, how 'bout I go back outside and come back in? How 'bout that, okay?
FELDMAN: You see what I'm saying.
I see what you're saying.
HAIM: What you talking about man? Say hello to my little friend! Say HELLO to my little friend!
FELDMAN: And he's talking about his male anatomy at that point, but, uh, it makes it different.
HAIM: Not so little, yeah. I've gotta wrap 'em five times, yeah. A little wrap tuck, yeah. [Both laugh]
FELDMAN: You know what they say about those Jews.
HAIM: Oh god, come on, kid. You're Jewish, too.
FELDMAN: I know.
HAIM: What a dick. You realize you just bagged on yourself.
FELDMAN: No, it's a compliment. It's a compliment. I'm talking about girth. Anyway... [Both laugh]
We can come back to the penis jokes. Let's move on.
FELDMAN: We're gonna take this seriously from this point on.
Haim, you've said this reality show is your best work to date. In what way?
HAIM: I really feel like I'm absorbing a lot more than I ever have. I really feel like I'm taking life more seriously than I ever have, hence the three months of filming, and A&E, our second chance, not showing up late, and hearing that the editors are not sick of looking at our faces and they're pausing it and cracking up at us all the time. It's a nice thing because I think work is a very, very, very tricky thing [for me], and I know I've passed the point of being Corey the Bad Kid to being Corey the Responsible Man to the best I can. So I think this is my best work because it's very honest. I'm also saying this because I lost a heck of a lot of weight, too, so I feel this is the best I've looked physically in a long time. I lost over 140 pounds in 10 months. Basically, I think it was the most I've ever been in control of myself.
FELDMAN: He was very present.
HAIM: Exactly, thank you, kid. I was searching for that one word. I was very, very present with myself in real life, and it's a reality show, so all they did, I guess, was push record.
FELDMAN: It's not a typical reality show, for the record. A lot of it is very suggested and set up, but the emotions that are conveyed in a lot of it are very real.
Explain that. So it's like someone says, ''Hey, you guys should go do this,'' and then once you're in the situation, it's you being you?
FELDMAN: Exactly. You can call it improvisational comedy, you can call it a lot of things. Without drawing a map for you telling you what was real and what wasn't—
HAIM: Say nothing, man.
FELDMAN: There's an episode when Haim goes to the doctor. At that moment, he was really feeling the things that he felt. I asked him off camera, ''Is this something that you want to show the world?''
HAIM: It was my choice. I had these palpitations, like panic attacks from the abuse I've put my body through. When he felt one of them from the beginning to end, he cut the cameras, pulled me aside, ripped my mike off, and said, ''Dude, I need you just to breathe right now.'' Then he said, ''Do you want to help other people and maybe show the side effects or after effects of what we did when we were kids, man?'' I didn't even think about that because I was in so much weird pain. It's not life-threatening, it just doesn't feel very good. I thought it was a brilliant idea, so I did it.
FELDMAN: He let them film an EKG, and all kinds of stuff that was pretty personal. When you're talking about a typical reality show, it's supposed to be understood that everything's real, but that said, most of it isn't. And in a situation like this, I think that we gave something that's a lot more real than what you're gonna find on 98 percent of shows.
NEXT PAGE: ''I think it's completely natural for kids to make mistakes and learn lessons from those mistakes. But for people to sit there and dissect it and talk shit and parade other people's problems around, I think that's the sickness.''
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