Q: No, not at all! It's just — well, have you ever seen that movie The Prestige?
A: You mean, Christopher Nolan's 2006 adaptation of the 1995 award-winning Christopher Priest novel starring Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale as warring magicians?
Q: The very same. In that story, Bale's character comes up with a magic trick known as ''The Teleporting Man'' — basically, it's a disappearing/reappearing act. Convinced that Bale is using cutting edge technology created by the famed Nikola Tesla, Jackman's character goes to the scientist and demands that he do for him what he did for Bale. Turns out Tesla never did any work for Bale, but the curious genius accepts Jackman's assignment anyway, and attempts to manufacture a machine that will literally teleport Jackman from one point to another. However, the best Tesla can do is make a machine that creates duplicates of whoever uses it — clones, if you will, that materialize out of thin air.
A: Fascinating! So are you suggesting that the Orchid functions like Tesla's cloning/teleportation machine in The Prestige?
Q: Of course not, silly! Cloning/teleportation machines are totally implausible! What we're suggesting is that Lost is zigging where The Prestige zagged — we're suggesting that what we're seeing in the Orchid film is totally bogus, a variation on the old bunny-out-of-the-hat magic trick.
A: Hmmmm. Well, I think we can both agree that the Orchid film re-energizes perhaps the oldest question about the Dharma Initiative: Was it a legitimate inquiry into fields of fringe science, or was it a massive psychology experiment — or was it a blurry blend of both? The Orchid film also embodies my long-held assertion that Lost is an ironic Postmodern text that explores the legacy of Postmodernism itself. In this sense, the Orchid film reminds me of the Nicolas Cage movie Adaptation — inspired by Susan Orlean's book The Orchid Thief — which also involved doppelgängers, self-conscious irony, and post-modern storytelling devices.
Q: Uhhh...huh? Adaptation was cool, but your essay on Lost and Postmodernism is infamous for being totally boring. C'mon, Doc! Play with us!
A: Fine. Fine! Here's a thought: my pet theory of the moment is that Station 6: the Orchid doesn't exist on the Island anymore because it imploded. Yep: I'm suggesting that the Orchid was the precursor to Station 3: the Swan!
Q: How do you figure that?
A: Follow the clues. Halowax is wearing a lab jacket with the Swan logo on the breast pocket. Why? Why wear a Swan coat when he's making an orientation film for the Orchid? Maybe because the Orchid refers to a specific kind of orchid — namely, the Swan Orchid, known for the ability to mature quickly. Seems to be an appropriate allusion for a place where rabbits can magically breed like...magic rabbits. Moreover, there's also the undeniable link between ''The Casmir Effect'' (see: Orchid film) and ''unique electromagnetic fluctuations'' (see: Swan film); did the mysteriously ambiguous ''incident'' referenced in the Swan film serve as the catalyst for the station's new mission and re-naming? And then there's the fact that the orientation films for both stations were filmed on film, whereas the other orientation ''films'' were puddle puddle puddle must send candy bars puddle puddle must return emails puddle puddle must finish Planet of the Apes/Hegel theory puddle puddle puddddddddddddd —
EDITOR'S NOTE: Looks like Doc Jensen's brain has once again melted into mush. But we're confident that by the end of August, our resident Lostologist will have pulled himself together to finish off his Orchid ruminations, plus address many other bits of (ahem!) unfinished business. In the meantime, send your theories about the Orchid Film to JeffJensenEW@aol.com or use the handy form below. Until then —
Namaste!
Doc Jensen
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