READER MAIL
Readers were split on whether late August/early September is the entertainment wasteland that I made it out to be in last week's column. You all also offered up some other suggestions for the list of Least Intimidating TV Superheroes, as well as an explanation for Gabrielle Anwar's disappearing accent on Burn Notice. On to the mailbag!
What do you mean, lack of quality TV right now? The Closer, Saving Grace, Damages, The Kill Point, Rescue Me, and, as a Michael Mann fan, the reruns of Robbery Homicide Division on HDNet have kept me entertained so much, I don't miss anything from the fall season. —Todd Takei
Good point, Todd, that cable offers a lot of great original scripted programming in the summer. But with summer now over, most of these shows are wrapping up, yet we still have a few more weeks until the new fall season begins. And, unfortunately, I'm an impatient bastard.
Dalton, I love your column and have never sent an e-mail before, but how DARE you dis Ringo Starr!!! He deserves to be more than just a punchline. Ringo had a solid solo career in his own right. ''Photograph'' is a great song that can stand up to any other solo Beatle's effort. The man was part of the greatest band of all time, for Pete's sake!! Even if he was the weakest link there, he was with 3 certifiable geniuses. If you put a brilliant scientist next to Albert Einstein, he's going to look like a putz, but he's still smarter than 99% of the population. So please, in the future, kindly give Ringo the respect that he deserves. —Allison Rourke
Now would probably not be the best time, then, to bring up his starring role in Caveman. Or Son of Dracula. So I won't.
Hiya Dalton! I feel I would be remiss to not remind you of the calvacade of ''lame'' superheroes that made up last summer's reality show ''Who Wants to Be a Superhero?'' I'm pretty sure I'm one of about a dozen folks who actually watched it, but most of the ''superheroes'' were just too painful to watch. I mean, Monkey Lady — really??? I suppose the winner, Feedback, was okay, although his ''power'' of disrupting electronics isn't exactly new. But I guess it won him enough notoriety to be at Comic-Con this year.... —Sandy Lee
All I remember about that show is that there was some superhero named Fat Momma, whose weapon of choice was doughnuts. Great, now I'm hungry. Damn you, Fat Momma!!!
Some fine choices for membership in the superheroes of suck from TV's mixed superhero bag, but you certainly could have expanded the list. Here are my nominees for the Legion of Lameness. Elvin from Misfits of Science (which boasted a pre-Friends and pre-Arquette Courteney Cox), who could shrink to 8 inches, which means he could be defeated by an average housecat. Then there is the new Flash Gordon (which has the same lame/cheesy effects but none of the cheesy fun of the classic '80s music), who is a marathon runner, which would be a really useful power if an alien chased him for 26 miles. And while The Tick was a fun show (go Puddy), I am not sure how intimidating I found Arthur, the accountant turned Moth, although he could probably destroy the closet full of sweaters I am given each Christmas but never wear. —Kevin Kane
I loved The Tick, but you're right, Arthur was pretty damn useless. As for the new Flash Gordon, holy Lord, does that show suck. The Sci Fi Channel could have made it a campy delight like the 1980 movie, or they could have completely reimagined it like they did for the new Battlestar Galactica. Instead, they just made a bad, low-budget, middle-of-the-road action drama that is impossible for anyone to care about. Where is Max Von Sydow when you need him?
Hey, just wanted to comment on the character Fiona in Burn Notice and her accent. In the second or third episode, she made a comment that she was working on her American accent in order to blend into her environment better, hence no more sexy Irish accent. —Denise Duellman
She says ''blend into the environment better,'' I say ''cut my losses since I can't pull off this tricky Irish accent.'' Whatever — in the grand scheme it's pretty irrelevant (if amusing). I'm sold on the show. Like I said, nothing revolutionary, but fun stuff with a great cast. As Bruce Campbell himself would say, ''Groovy!''
Have some other Emmy snubs that are driving you batty? Think I've overlooked some booty-obsessed anthems? Don't get the football thing? Send your questions, comments, and quibbles to theglutton@ew.com, or just fill out the handy-dandy form below. See ya next week!
