READER MAIL
We may as well change the title of this week's Reader Mail section to The Christina Kelly Fan Club. Scores of readers — both female and male — wrote in to get my wife's back and profess their love for Cappie from Greek. Here is just a small sampling of this disturbing trend...
I think your wife and I could be friends. (Well, except for the fact that Hugh Grant annoys me.) I too ADORE Cappie — he made that show appointment television. When Casey asked him where he wanted to be in 10 years and he said ''With you,'' I melted into a puddle on my couch. I can't wait for season 2. I also adore [Friday Night Lights'] Tim Riggins. I had to IMDB the show to find the actor's age because I was feeling creepy. Now, not so much. Your wife rules! —Kristen Anderson
Feel creepy, Kristen. Feel creepy. And what's with you women and your bad-boy-with-a-heart-of-gold obsession? I don't get it. I took a Tim Riggins vs. Jason Street poll last year, and Street got not even a single vote. Serecen, Smash, and Coach Taylor received votes, and they weren't even candidates. The dude is paralyzed! Throw him a bone, ladies!
Dalton, your wife has excellent taste. I too was smitten with Cappie from the start (the same way I was with Droz, Ty, and Otter upon seeing those other frat-tastic movies...and see, all funny movie frat boys have to have silly names). I mean, did you see the episode where Cappie insults some dude in LATIN?! What's not to like there? Incidentally, I refuse to have anything to do with frat boys in real life. —Jessica Rouke
Dead language. That's all I have to say about that.
Dalton, your wife has good taste! I will admit that despite being out of the target age range for Greek viewers (I'm 29 and I'm assuming the show is meant to appeal to a younger audience), I found myself hopelessly hooked on the series this summer. What's more, I totally understand why your wife would have a crush on Cappie. He's exactly the kind of guy I went for when I was in college. He never worries about anything, doesn't think much about the future, has that sloppy-cuteness thing going on, and knows how to have a good time. Cappie symbolizes everything that was so great about college...plus he is fairly dreamy. —Kelly West
Even you, Kelly? You've turned against me? I can't help but be convinced that this is merely some contagious disease that is spreading like wildfire among viewers of the ABC Family channel. You know what, though? I know when I'm beat. Fine, Cappie's a dream boat. Mmmmmmmmm, he's so damn sexy. How can I get me a piece of that? I'd like to Cap the night off with a little Cappie. (There. Happy, everyone?)
Oh Dalton, you disappointed me. I've never written in before, but the fact that you neglected Lewis Black's hilarous attack on corner pop-ups and news crawls forced me to. For someone who was creaming their manties over their brand-new DVR and switching from full to wide screen compulsively, how could you forget that? —Stephen Raulli
I realize this is inviting a storm of hate mail, but I've never been a big Lewis Black guy. The dude just gets too riled up for my taste. Reminds me of what Krusty the Clown once said of Sideshow Rahim: ''Angry. Angry young man.'' That said, I thought what he was saying was pretty funny and hit home for what a lot of us think while watching TV. But it also seemed so random. He showed up out of nowhere with no real explanation for being there, yelled for a few minutes, and then left. Had he been a host or a presenter or something, maybe it would have made a bit more sense. As it was, it felt a bit like a drive-by shooting. And one that ended up missing the target.
Dalton, with regards to spoilers, I think a good rule of thumb is one week for TV, one month for movies. If I can't find 30-60 minutes to watch something I TiVo'ed before the next episode airs, then the responsibility of staying in the dark is mine. I mean, how can you write a preview of an episode on the day of its showing, if you can't reference ''previously on''? As for a movie, after a month, you've had plenty of time to go see it. If you wanted it to be an unspoiled experience, you should have gone sooner. One exception is for ''surprises'' like Sixth Sense or The Usual Suspects. The surprise should be kept until one month after the DVD is available, as it's crucial to enjoying the movie. —Mike Menditto
I like Mike! Actually, I've never met Mike. He could be a raging a-hole for all I know. But I do like his suggestion for term limits on spoiler-free zones. A week for TV and a month for new movies seems fair — after that, you're on your own. (So no more complaining, okay, readers?) I also like the fact that his e-mail not once mentioned the name Cappie in it. Ah, Mike — can he do anything wrong?
Have a reality show you're embarrassed to have watched from beginning to end? Have I convinced anyone out there to give Blade a try? And what do you think will be the first canceled show of the new TV season? Send your questions, comments, and quibbles to theglutton@ew.com, or just fill out the handy-dandy form below. See ya next week!
