The Wrong Turn-Ons

Jamie, who might have made an interesting contestant on America's Next Top Model — ''Now, Jamie, this says you were in therapy when you were in high school. It hurts to not feel good about ourselves, doesn't it?'' — continues to waste screen time. At first I thought I wasn't that impressed with the actress, Michelle Borth, but what's the poor girl supposed to do with such a lame story line? She showed up at Hugo's school with news that ''we got the coffeemaker!'' (Doesn't etiquette dictate that you return wedding gifts if said wedding gets the kibosh?) She had sex in cute white socks with a fellow chef — on the restaurant's kitchen counter, retch! She warned a man so good-looking he almost ceased to be good-looking that she's toxic. She barked like a teenager into the phone after her mom demanded that she handle her own damn lease. And, most annoyingly, she sat Indian-style on May's couch during her first session. Oh, Jamie, you're so young and loose and familiar. Feet off May's upholstery, you child!

May, who continues to impress, slipped once this episode in grand fashion. When Jamie speculated that perhaps she was just an idiot, the good doctor said, ''I've known you for 10 minutes, Jamie — you don't seem like an idiot.'' Really? All-girls-school statements like ''I'm really acting out'' and '' I define myself by sex'' don't make your eyes cross even a little? May finally took it to the hoop: ''Have you ever been monogamous?'' Wittle Jamie just crossed her legs tighter and said no.

Well, guys, where do you all stand this week? Does this show leave you feeling spent or invigorated, depressed or empathized with? Does Jamie grate on you, or is this what 27-year-old girls are like? Twenty bucks that Palek did the deed with the fawning salesgirl. Any takers?