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What a Pair

Will the Pamela Anderson-Rick Salomon engagement result in the most notorious wedding video of all time? Plus: Dalton's obsession with bagpipes, his wife's TV crushes, and reader mail

PAMELA ANDERSON
Image credit: Pamela Anderson: Gianfranco Calcagno/FilmMagic.com
PAMELA ANDERSON

Pam and Rick: Porn for each other?

We often talk about couples that were simply meant to be together, but perhaps never has that been more true than of the latest tabloid celebrity engagement between Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon. Apparently seeking to consolidate power in the topsy-turvy world of celebrity porn, Anderson and Salomon are on their way to the altar. Never have two titans of the same industry joined forces like this. Sure, The WB and UPN became The CW, but, frankly, they were The WB and UPN. And there's some sort of Sirius and XM merger going on, but I can barely spell satellite radio much less understand the implications of their union. With apologies to Rob Lowe, Fred Durst, Jenna from the first season of Survivor, and other pretenders to the crown, Anderson (with Tommy Lee) and Salomon (with Paris Hilton) starred in the most talked about celebrity porn tapes of the past 20 years, which is to say, ever. So their pairing makes complete sense. However, there are a few things I have to wonder about this union.

1) Did they first meet because they admired each other's ''work?''
You often hear about this in celebrity circles — actors and actresses who see each other in stuff and have their agents help set them up on dates. There's no reason to assume this sort of behavior does not extend into the world of pornography. In fact, one would have to figure that it happens even more often considering the ''stuff'' the people are starring in. At the very least I would have to guess that the two did a little ''research'' on each other before hooking up.

2) Do they argue over whose porno is better?
Lord, I hope not, but honestly it is no contest. Anderson and Lee just put so much more effort into her tape. It was shot entirely ''on location'' (on both land and sea), contained elements of humor (Lee using Little Tommy to honk the boat horn), and featured lighting far superior than on the Blair Witch-esque night cam employed by Salomon and Hilton. Still, never underestimate the power of a clever title when it comes to porn (The Sperminator remains one of my personal favorites), and Salomon definitely wins points for One Night in Paris — both catchy and accurate.

3) Will they put out the porno to end all porno?
They conquered the Internet and DVD without each other, so imagine what they can accomplish together! True, one could argue that Paris was the real star of One Night in Paris, not Salomon, but it's not like the dude was a mere bystander or anything. He had a job to do, and by golly he did it. And while Tommy Lee certainly brought a lot to his role in the other porn film (and I do mean a lot), Pamela was clearly the higher wattage star when that came out. Putting Salomon and Anderson together in an adult movie is a marketing bonanza just waiting to happen. And we most likely won't have to wait long. After all, you just know they're not going to be able to resist videotaping themselves on the Honeymoon.

4) And finally... How long until Tommy Lee and Paris Hilton get engaged?
They always say the best sex is revenge sex, right? Well, set up a video camera and let's find out!

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