V: LOVIN' EVERY MINUTE OF IT
Love Boat displayed so much Cupidity — with couples swapping and hopping in and out of bed — it was mocked as ''lust bucket'' and ''floating foreplay.'' As guest-star Dick Shawn once said, ''If Disney did a porno flick, the result would be Love Boat.''
LYNNE FARR: Our show was about people taking care of people, even though the network kept trying to throw in ''sizzle.'' There was an episode where two old people, separated by the Second World War, meet on the boat. She's trying to ask delicately if this is really her husband. The network wanted more extras in bikinis with big breasts and big beach balls. In the middle of this scene on a private deck, this woman comes up those stairs with 40-inch breasts, a bikini, and this enormous beach ball. And she throws it up in the air throughout that entire scene. I just about committed suicide.
DOUG CRAMER: It became, possibly, a little one-dimensional. The gonads took over.
CYNTHIA LAUREN TEWES: While the critics were hating us, the moral majority was after our tails. We were filth. It was the time of jiggle TV. We were offensive to many people. But nobody remembers that. People always remember, ''Oh, The Love Boat — so sweet.'' No, it was about people coming on board, having sex with strangers, and leaving.
The copious romantic exploits of oft-divorced Doc Bricker apparently titillated fans.
BERNIE KOPELL: During dinner on the ship, a very nice-looking woman sailed across the dining room and said, ''Dr. Bricker, I just want you to know that whenever I masturbate, I fantasize about you. Have a good evening.'' Then she left. That actually happened.
VI: THE REAL MCCOY
While the Love Boaters got along rather swimmingly, there was concern about Tewes, who'd developed a cocaine habit that worsened over the seasons.
TEWES: I had a very unhappy first marriage. I was working really hard at work, long hours. I did not handle it well at all. I was doing recreational cocaine that just got more and more. I was making too much money. I was putting it there. It was the '70s, it was the time to do it.... I take total responsibility for my stupidity.
KOPELL: You see this absolutely stunning young kid with these perfect blue eyes, the strawberry blond hair, and then she's off in a corner sniffing and I said, ''Oh, my God.'' And she said in a happy way, ''A little reward for a good day's work.'' Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
GORDON FARR: When you got that call at 6:30 a.m. that Lauren called and her car doesn't start or she's stuck in the shower, you knew there was a major problem.
TEWES: I was starting to embarrass myself publicly. I did something with my security system in my house — I was hallucinating that somebody had painted the leaves on my tree. So I called the security [company] and said, ''I think maybe the special-effects guys did something here.'' It was just ridiculous.... I just put it down one day. I had to stop...[but] it was too little, too late. I had already damaged the trust of the people I was working for.
During contract renegotiations for season 8, Tewes says the producers offered her a pay cut.
TEWES: I decided I was responsible for costing them a lot of money and I really messed up, so I said, ''I will accept that as a punishment.'' Then I got a call: ''They decided not to pick up your contract.'' Then it was in the tabloids that I'd asked for a million dollars.
CRAMER: The network was very afraid of tampering with success. And they didn't have to put up with her every day. So they're always the last ones to want to see a hit show change.
Tewes was replaced by Pat Klous — a.k.a. Julie's sister, Judy McCoy — who tried to make the best of an awkward situation.
TED LANGE: We grew up with Tewes so it was like shorthand. Pat had to learn that.
PAT KLOUS: They didn't know what to do with me. My introduction was a divorce scenario. And the next week would be comedy, and they had me do something serious again, like counsel a rape victim. Love Boat wasn't a comedy anymore when I got on.
Meanwhile, Tewes struggled to find work.
TEWES: I was blacklisted. Years later people say, ''We couldn't hire you then. The word was out on you.'' I would go on interviews and they would make fun of me. I was punished.
NEXT PAGE: ''One day I went back to craft service. No fruits, no vegetables, no dip — a can of Cheez Whiz and Ritz crackers. I said, 'Well, we're out of here. Let me pack my s--- up.'''
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