''Weeds'': Perking Up

An eye for an eye, a knife for a knife. Nancy's turned badass, while Celia's at her wit's end and cursing like there's no tomorrow. It all made for another beautiful day in the neighborhood that is the newly incorporated city of Majestic-Agrestic, or whatever the hell they're calling it. But who knew that OG Nancy had it in her? Actual death threats she promised to make good on? In her kitchen, no less? That's right — we've slowly been seeing into the new, not-so-improved matriarch/perpetual screwup, and it ain't pretty. So Celia wants in on the action. Can you blame her? She's got doctor's bills and no real income, or even real property for that matter, to her name. As for calling Nancy a sociopath, Celia's not far off herself. But Nancy's having no part in further "accommodating the extortionists" in her life. That is, until she needs them but a few hours later.

Of course, the true victim here seems to be Shane, who, despite his brainiac nature, will certainly be scarred for life after witnessing such repeated acts of violence and subterfuge. And the fact that his mother continually lies to him (for what reason, at this point?) doesn't bode well for establishing trust with anyone in his future. No surprise there, since the Botwin bunch tends to think only one day at a time.

For her part, Heylia didn't seem to have a backup plan in case of an unexpected visit to the warehouse by the Fire Department, so that meant transporting dozens of premature plants to yet another location. Who's up for the task? Obviously Silas, the workhorse, wearing his trade proudly on his sleeve. (If you didn't catch it, his T-shirt read, "I'm not a gardener, I just like ho's" — hee hee). And master grower Conrad is also on the ball. The ladies? That's another story. Still, Heylia's conversation with the landlord was the most pleasant fake nice that we've ever seen come out of her.

Is it irony or predictability that made Celia the answer to all their problems? No matter, the bottom line is, when desperation calls, anything can be negotiated. Even this unreasonable offer: $15K per month for spacious 5BR, 4BA contemporary in quiet suburban enclave with ample closets, upgraded electricity system, and brand-new copper piping, immediate move-in. Let's face it, Agrestic's not exactly Malibu. But Nancy doesn't have much of a choice, nor does she have too many friends (any at all, really) to lean on. And so the gang's reunion, which included Marvin, will be at the Hodes home, for better or worse. (An aside: Fatso Fasano, who plays Marvin, was on my flight back from New York a couple weeks ago — flying coach — and couldn't have been nicer, even thanking the pilot personally and urging him to watch Weeds.)

As for that steamy sex scene with Conrad and Nancy? Up until this episode of Weeds, I would always instinctively recite the "pussaliah" speech from The 40-Year-Old Virgin whenever Romany Malco came into the picture. Now I'll never be able to get that derriere out of my head — not that it's a bad thing. Ultimately, it was just a matter of time before those two went at it again. Business partners with benefits? You could call it that, but their bond is undoubtedly deeper, and remains one of few story lines to make it all the way through three seasons. Still, I'll agree with Celia's take, too. Nancy is a bit of a slut.

NEXT: More hostile competition

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