''You and your father have a perfectly good relationship! Why screw it up by spending time together?''
REGINA (JEAN SMART), TO HER DAUGHTER SAMANTHA (CHRISTINA APPLEGATE), ON SAMANTHA WHO?
''Spice Girl can't handle spicy foods. Go figure.''
WILHELMINA (VANESSA WILLIAMS), TRYING TO CONVINCE DANIEL (ERIC MABIUS) THAT VICTORIA BECKHAM IS ILL IN HER BATHROOM, ON UGLY BETTY
''We are religious people, but we have no illusions that God cares whether or not we win The Amazing Race.''
KATE, ONE HALF OF THE LESBIAN MINISTER COUPLE, ON THE AMAZING RACE
''We had ribs the other night it sounded like Jurassic Park.''
TED (JOSH RADNOR), DESCRIBING LILY'S (ALYSON HANNIGAN) LOUD CHEWING, ON HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
''I just say witty things. Like, I don't mean it to be harmful.''
HILLARY, TRYING TO EXPLAIN WHY SHE COMPARED DIVORCEE BETTINA TO A USED CAR, ON THE BACHELOR
''How can I be a gynecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye.''
RAJ (KUNAL NAYYAR), LAMENTING OVER HOW HIS FATHER WANTS HIM TO FOLLOW IN HIS FOOTSTEPS, ON THE BIG BANG THEORY
''This isn't mine. This is Sunset Blush. I wear Tiger Orgasm.''
JENNA (JANE KRAKOWSKI), AFTER LIZ (TINA FEY) GIVES HER THE WRONG LIPSTICK, ON 30 ROCK