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OBSESSION OF THE WEEK
Well, obsession may be pushing it, but I went to see the new Joe Strummer documentary, The Future Is Unwritten, this past week. I was a huge Clash fan growing up and love rock docs in general, so I was pretty amped to check this out, especially considering it was directed by Julien Temple, who was also responsible for the excellent Sex Pistols documentary The Filth and The Fury. This film is not nearly as well put together as that one (it drags half an hour too long, spends too much time on Strummer's pre- and post-Clash life, and indulges too much in shots of random friends and family sitting around a campfire), but still offers up some incredible old footage of the hardest working band in show business. Whether you're a fan of the Clash, or someone who never quite understood what all the fuss was about, this movie offers a portrait of a group that refused to be limited by musical genres or geography. Make seeing it part of your future.
THE FIVE
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Lots of thoughts regarding my last column on the sham that is the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Plus, some more props for our boy Cheadle in an oh-so-special spin-off. Without further ado, on to the mailbag...
The Hollywood Walk of Fame is turning into the entertainment equivalent of the Baseball All-Star game. It's like Hollywood feels they have to include someone from all levels of entertainment. David Spade is like the left-fielder from the Devil Rays. Anyway, my favorite star is Britney Spears who got hers when she was only 21 years old! I guess they figured they'd give it to her while she was still famous for something entertainment related. — Dave Scott
The fact is, the stars these days are merely put there for promotional purposes — to help sell a new movie or CD. It actually has very little to do with merit. And the forces behind putting someone there are almost always the companies with something to gain financially. Which brings us to the next email...
Just a quick comment on the Walk of Fame stars: the stars themselves can't pay for their stars; it must come from outside sources. That still doesn't explain why David Spade has a star, though. — Winona Patterson
Yeah, more often than not it is a movie studio or record label that pays the $25,000 fee. I don't think the celebrities are actually prohibited from paying it themselves, but as Walk of Fame Selection Committee chairman Johnny Grant told me, no one ever has.
I have no problem with George Lucas having a star, but dismissing Ricky Martin as just a ''former member of Menudo'' ignores the huge contributions that he has made to music and also his many philanthropic works. Ricky has sold in excess of 55 million CDs and he is one of the biggest Spanish speaking singing stars, ever. His ''crossover'' success in English was amazing and has opened the door for so many other artists. He is truly an international star and one of the most recognized. He has won more awards than can be counted, including two Grammy awards, has been nominated for many more and he is nominated for four Latin Grammy awards this year. His work with the Ricky Martin Foundation has helped exploited adults and children, victims of the tsunami and earthquakes, children with cancer, doctors in training and schools in need of musical instruments, among many others. Maybe the press should learn more about Mr. Martin and would then realize that he has long deserved this star and it was about time that he received it! — Sheila Hyde
Sheila, I hear you loud and clear, especially when it comes to Martin's charitable endeavors, which is exactly why I said I had nothing against the guy. Am I a fan of his music? No. But obviously a lot of people are. It's just that at this rate it won't be long before another ''She Bangs'' singer, William Hung, gets his own star, too.
I imagine you've received more mail on this, but Harry Parke (Parkyakarkus) is known today primarily as the father of Albert Brooks and Super Dave Osborne; the real family name is Einstein. — Richard LeComte
Thanks, Richard. Yes, a lot of email came in about this famous father, most not as nicely worded as yours. Who knew there were so many fans of 1930s radio comedians out there? The story of his death, which I got into briefly last time, is a classic, however. According to published reports, not only did Parkyakarkus die in Milton Berle's lap at a Friar's Club Roast, but when he first collapsed, Berle asked out, ''Is there a doctor in the house?'' Naturally, the crowd thought Berle was making a joke and burst out into laughter. He wasn't. Berle then asked singer Tony Martin to croon a tune to distract the crowd from the dead guy on the floor. The singer's choice? The all too apt ''There's No Tomorrow.''
Wow - how could you forget to mention Cheadle's comedy turn on the Golden Girls' spin off Golden Palace as the put upon hotel manager? — Christy Smith
Sadly to say, what was funniest about Cheadle in Golden Palace was his mustache. I'd actually tried my best to block this entire show from my memory. Thanks, Christy! Thanks a lot!
Okay, it is time, folks. Give me your name, gender, and pick of ultimate John Hughes '80s teen film: Sixteen Candles or Pretty in Pink. Or simply make fun of me for getting my ass kicked by Oscar de la Hoya. Your pick. Just email to theglutton@ew.com, or simply fill out the handy dandy form below. See ya next week!
