Sound Bites

''What are you, 90? Jesus! Text message!''
DAWN BUDGE (ROSIE O’DONNELL), TO SEAN McNAMARA (DYLAN WALSH), WHO'S RECEIVING AN OLD-SCHOOL CELL-PHONE CALL, ON NIP/TUCK

''My guilt wears island casual?''
BETTY (AMERICA FERRERA), WHEN THE GHOST OF BRADFORD MEADE (ALAN DALE) SHOWS UP IN A TIKI SHIRT, ON UGLY BETTY

''I'm not the man maker anymore. You know what? About five years ago I realized there was an emptiness inside of me that no amount of meaningless sex could fill. I needed something more. And that’s when I discovered Indian casinos.''
RHONDA (STEPHANIE FARACY), ABOUT WHY SHE STOPPED TAKING YOUNG MEN'S VIRGINITY, ON HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER

''Someone will be here to save the master race soon enough.''
DR. BAILEY (CHANDRA WILSON), TO A NEO-NAZI PATIENT REQUESTING A NONBLACK DOCTOR, ON GREY'S ANATOMY

''I just don’t want to stand by and watch you become Will Smith in Pursuit of Happyness.''
MONICA (KEESHA SHARP), WORRYING ABOUT HER HUSBAND, WILLIAM (REGGIE HAYES), LEAVING HIS LAW FIRM, ON GIRLFRIENDS

''It's like Clue, only CSI-er.''
HODGES (WALLACE LANGHAM), DESCRIBING THE BOARD GAME HE'S INVENTED, ON CSI

''Your friends don't fathom me whatsoever.''
JUSTIN BOBBY, TO SOON-TO-BE-EX-GIRLFRIEND AUDRINA, ON THE HILLS