''The Hills'': Baby Got Backbone

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Onto our third dame of the night. Audrina's new Australian boy toy, Corey, was definitely cute, but his lip piercing threw me off. I was trying to figure out who he was dressed as at the Halloween party: some famous sailor with a busted lip? Popeye? Sailor Moon? I'm not against piercings; it's just that this one looked a bit silly, especially because he seemed so preppy otherwise. And maybe it's because I couldn't understand Corey clearly, but he got a bit boring during the dinner conversation. What's up with the men on this show? They look great, yes, but I'm remembering Jarett and Whitney's awkward dinner date where Jarett acted weird/hyper. Maybe it's the camera. After all, not everyone is used to having a crew of people follow them at all hours in the day.

But I definitely lost respect for Australian boy after his completely transparent request to Audrina at the end of the meal: ''Do you want to just go home?'' complete with a cocked eyebrow. You know what that means. I know what that means. The assumption that dinner earns him a score kinda got to me. I know Audrina's desperate to move on, but girl shouldn't go home with a new guy so easily. Especially if her goofy smile the next morning told us anything about how much she really likes him.

I'll close with the girls' Halloween bash. They congregated at Audrina and Lauren's place, which all of a sudden boasted all kinds of accessories, like a smoke machine and a strobe light. In a club, I can understand, but how many house parties have you attended with a smoke machine? No wonder we caught Lauren lifting the machine over her head demanding it be turned off. And buzz. Buzz. No, that's not the front door; that's the sound of the party inside. It was like an insect farm in there — the number of critters congregating around the foyer should've led Lauren to break out the Raid, not the smoke machine. Except that Lauren was dressed as a flapper and hardly anyone recognized her. Anyway, when did it all of a sudden become so cute to dress as a antennaed insect? Whitney and Jen Bunney were decked out in ladybug gear, and I think I saw a random bee here and there. Maybe I missed something two months ago, but I actually thought this year's hot Halloween costume was Amy Winehouse.

All right, readers, what did you think of last night's show? Who thinks Lauren made a mistake by not telling Brody how she really feels? Who can't wait for Spencer and Heidi to call the wedding off? And what's the funniest phone entry you've got stored?