OBSESSION OF THE WEEK
There are few things I hated in life more than the The Amazing Race: Family Edition. Maybe rats. And the word moist, which has always freaked me out. But Family Edition was right up there. Even with the enjoyable All-Star edition, the program has suffered something of a two-year hangover from that kid-infested debacle. I am happy to report that that long, national nightmare is now over: The 12th season of The Amazing Race is like an old friend that you forgot how much you liked. Of course, it helps that the show replaced musical drama Viva Laughlin, one of the worst programs in recent memory, but for whatever reasons, I welcome it back with open arms. Like all reality shows, the key to a successful season is in the casting, and Race has the perfect mix of teams you want to root for (like lovable Goths Kynt and Vyxsin) and against (Jennifer and Nathan, who pretty much spent the entire first episode yelling at a donkey; they've since decided that wasn't very fair to the animal and now spent all their time yelling at each other instead). It all makes for great fun, and hey, it beats the hell out of Viva Laughlin.

THE FIVE
In this week's Glutton video, Dalton reveals The Five Shows I Can't Believe Are Still on the Air.

READER MAIL
Readers got medieval on my ass this week in response my last column about visiting Medieval Times. People also weighed in on favorite Christmas specials, as well as my (lack of) fashion sense.

If you can believe it we actually had a junior high field trip to Medieval Times. Best field trip ever! Also, once when I went, one of the knights was handing back his weapon to his squire to get another, and wound up bashing the squire in the face with a mace. Sure, it probably wasn't a real mace, but there was still blood! Better than hockey! —Stacy M.

The whole show was so ridiculous. I loved it. Unfortunately, there was no accidental blood spillage at my performance, but the fake disemboweling was good enough for me. I also thought it was amusing how certain ''actors'' were totally into it, delivering each line with power and gusto, while others were completely flat and monotone, clearly wanting the whole thing to end as quickly as possible.

Medieval Times = Best. Dinner Theatre. Ever. Where else can you eat dinner medieval style (hands only, no utensils) while drinking beer by the bucket? And the ability to choose whether half-assed actors get to live or die is like being a screenwriter for a soap opera. Plus, I managed to snatch a flying rose thrown by our victorious knight and I only had to knock over a few chairs, one grandmother, two ushers, and a waiter to get it. My wife did a great job of feigning amazement and appreciation when I presented said rose to her so I could kid myself that I had been heroic. Since she had taken me there as a birthday present, I realized it might be perceived as bad form to give it to a serving wench. —Kevin Kane

As far as I could tell, the entire place was filled with families and drunken frat boys. For your wife to bring you to Medieval Times for a romantic birthday meal...well, she is truly a maiden among wenches. Hang on to that one, Kevin. The same way you hung on to that rose.

While we may not agree on Pushing Daisies, you and I are totally in synch about Year Without a Santa Claus being the greatest Christmas special of all time. Gotta love how the elf's socks are red-and-green-striped on him but a simple beige when turned inside-out to become Rover's ears. Also, need to give some love to how Cold Miser and Heat Miser are stepbrothers according to Snowy but both are apparently the biological children of Mother Nature. I'm also with you on Rudolph's Shiny New Year's inherent superiority to the original. Finally, a shout-out to Santa Claus Is Coming to Town for my favorite line of the bunch: ''A jo-jo? For me?'' —Kerry Schmitz

I still don't get why Year Without a Santa Claus has to play on the B-team of ABC Family every year, while Rudolph and Santa Claus Is Coming to Town get to air on network television. Year is clearly the most enjoyable Rankin/Bass production. And speaking of Mother Nature, ever notice how she tells Snow Miser to let it snow in Southtown and instructs Heat Miser to allow a spring day at the North Pole? Those instructions are backward and therefore make no sense. Just another reason to adore this truly underappreciated gem.

I just watched your video about the Christmas specials, and I always laughed at the ''bright young man'' line too, because Charles Lane seemed to have been born 45 years old and balding. He had a very long career, and was actually 41 at the time of It's a Wonderful Life. He was in 20 movies in 1941 alone, and I found his CV on IMDB by looking up Petticoat Junction. I think he specialized in playing accountants. —Cynthia Schmidt

Thanks for the info on Charles Lane, Cynthia. That's amazing he was only 41 then. He looks 60 at the youngest. Another amazing thing is that it turns out Lane died just this past July at age 102! Turns out that ''bright young man'' had a bright long life as well.

Hey Dalton...Just watched your clip on the 5 Christmas specials, but I didn't catch them because I was distracted by what has to be the ugliest-looking sweater I've ever seen. Sorry...but it has to go. —Kaiulani Watson

Okay, first of all, it's a shirt. You may have been thrown off by the black tee I was wearing under the shirt, but trust me, it's a shirt. Secondly, it's not that ugly — I swear! In fact, it has received several compliments. And not an ''I'm kind of uncomfortable standing next to you right now so I'll throw a token polite comment your way about your shirt to ease the awkwardness''-type compliment either. I'm talking real compliments. But I will say this, it doesn't translate that well on screen. The camera doesn't do it justice! That's right — I'm blaming the camera for any perceived ugliness. Don't worry. Due to my severely limited wardrobe, you will no doubt be seeing it again soon.

Sooooo, are celebrities fair game when it comes to mocking their body shape, and should certain things remain off-limits? Rooting for anyone on The Amazing Race? And what TV show can you not believe is still on the air? Send your questions, comments, and quibbles to theglutton@ew.com, or just fill out the handy-dandy form below. See you next week!

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