Wayne Newton grabbed hold of a microphone, and I sincerely wish he had not. Until I saw his mouth moving, I could have sworn that the vocal track was a garbled recording of an incorrectly programmed Wayne Newton robot. That was dying. Underwater. It was so bad! He couldn't even remember the words to his only famous song. Despite all of that, Drew and Cheryl's last-minute exhibition was awesome.
By the way, the message-board comments about Sabrina being overweight are getting a bit out of control. I called her Grimace yesterday, but I didn't call her fat. Sabrina is a perfectly normal-size Oompa-Loompa-shaded person. And for the record, Grimace is an adorable, fry-loving role model who just happens to be chunkers. I would have called Edyta Grimace, too, if she'd worn that awful purple dress (even though she wouldn't — too much coverage). I'm a little obsessed with Grimace, to be honest. Look for him in my articles wherever purple is sold.
So what did you think of last night's elimination? Which couples will have the steamiest Latin night next week? And what will break first: Mark Cuban's lucky streak or his hip?
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