Hopefully Lauren Conrad managed to learn the French equivalent of ''Will you sign this production waiver?'' before jetting off to Paris with pal Whitney on the Dec. 10 season finale of The Hills. Language issues aside, we were mostly left scratching our heads after the MTV reality phenomenon wrapped its third season. Are Brody and Lauren together? And what about Heidi and Spencer's broken engagement? Speaking of Heidi: That's one hell of a cushy gig she's got at Bolthouse! Apparently, our phony party planner is allowed to hightail it back to Colorado on a moment's notice. Or it's quite possible she's just facilitating the opening of Les Deux Boulder. Also — and yes, it's laughable to mention ''reality'' when discussing The Hills — Lauren's Parisian trip seemed like it would take her away from L.A. for only a few days, but the goodbyes appeared to be quite final. It's doubtful that the oddly Paleolithic-sounding Crillon Ball is a yearlong soiree, but we'll have to wait until next spring to find out just how long it lasted. That's when MTV plans to air eight ''bonus episodes'' as a coda to season 3. And we thought The Sopranos left us in the dark.


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