''Project Runway'': Wrappers Delight

As Sweet P struggled to craft something that didn't make Tim think of the dreaded pastel-toned aisle at Walgreens (a place all men fear), Elisa was busy stitching together what she described as a fairy-tale dress for her daughter. Then, in the show's most unexpected bummer of a turn since Jack fell ill last episode, Elisa explained that a while back, she was run over by a Porsche while working in London. Run over by a Porsche. The accident left her in a coma for five days, her head cracked open almost four inches. I'm no brain surgeon, but almost four inches — that's a really wide gash. As soon as she came out with her near-death story, I just knew our dear Rain Goddess Woman was not long for the show. Hers was just the sort of tearjerker that producers shamelessly bank for a contestant's final episode. And indeed, Elisa's brown velvet Gretel frock with silver arm bands, which Christian rightly likened to Swimmies, was neither wearable nor fabulous. Can't say I disagreed with the judges on this one, but I will miss Elisa — not only for her kooky, New Age musings (often so perfectly accompanied by a flaky flute soundtrack), but also for her kind, graceful attitude. She really does seem like a sweet person. (I didn't catch what she said to Heidi after getting auf'd. Perhaps one of you out there speaks Elisa?)

The judges chastised both Elisa and Sweet P for presenting looks that failed to capture the playfulness of candy. They read Victorya the same riot act, with Heidi calling her ruffled white dress more ''Dairy Queen'' than ''modern ice princess.'' A still more apt description would be ''half-assed, hick apron thing modeled by a woman strutting like an ostrich whose butt cheeks are perpetually clenched.'' Seriously — what the hell was the deal with that runway walk?

Of all the designers, Kit seemed to be enjoying the best sugar high — but maybe her giddiness was simply the product of working on a self-referential garment made of Kit Kats. Kevin's brown-beige skirt-blouse-jacket ensemble, meanwhile, hardly screamed exhilaration to me, but it was polished and tailored, which apparently was enough to advance him to the next round. As many of you pointed out last week, the judges often leave themselves wide open for criticism by employing different criteria to assess each contestant. I'll let you duke it out as to whether Kevin unfairly got a pass, but I'll admit I was happy to see the judges' system work in Chris' favor last night. Michael Kors praised the characteristically extravagant designer's restraint this week — as Chris himself admitted, he easily could have sent a parade float down the runway. Nina even deemed his subdued op-art dress ''ready for Elle.''

As for Christian, his Reese's Peanut Butter Cup wrapper dress was definitely chic, reminiscent of Michael's coffee-filter frock from last season. But was it playful? Not sure monochromatic brown candy wrappers — even 1,000 of them — are ever truly exuberant. But perhaps the little guy was feeling off last night. Not once did he utter the word. Which leaves our ''fierce'' count exactly where it was before the hiatus, at nine. (Also missing from last night's ep? Ricky's waterworks. Guess that was because he was too busy throwing ''caution out the window.'' I, on the other hand, would have been content had he defenestrated that silly, bulbous Hershey skirt.)

In the end, it was Rami who took top marks with his Peppermint Pattie skirt and red vinyl Twizzler halter top. Exceptionally well made, the look was whimsy meets 1970s London punk/bondage, and the judges ate it up — especially guest Zac Posen, who looked so delighted when Rami's model hit the runway that I wondered if he wasn't about to jump up and gobble down the outfit then and there.

What about you, TV Watchers? Which outfits gave you the munchies? Which ones made you want to hurl?

Want more? See our next-day exit Q&A with Project Runway castoff Elisa Jimenez

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