Car 54, Where Are You?
(1994)ORIGINAL FORMULA This NBC sitcom about a quirky pair of Bronx cops lasted only two seasons (1961-1963), but grew in popularity through the magic of reruns.
BIG-SCREEN MAKEOVER Given an unfortunate '90s edge, the show's central characters became sex-crazed frat boys — with one of them (John McGinley, left) desperate to lose his virginity.
LOW POINT While you'll need to cover your eyes (and ears) to get through the sex scene between David ''Buster Poindexter'' Johansen (right) and Rosie O'Donnell, it's the former's duet with a rapping animated canary that'll have you reaching for the Pepto.
LESSON LEARNED When the word update means turning something sweet and naive into a crass, vulgar mess, stay home and watch a rerun.
WHAT EW SAID ''This loud, garish update of the campy '60s sitcom is a brainless floparooney. Call 911.'' D-
