''American Idol'': Happy Texas

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I also have to (for the second night in a row) commend the producers for their choice of audition belly flops. Paul Stafford's depressing take on Elliott Yamin paid huge dividends when Simon chimed in with his own brief (Stafford-influenced) version of ''Wait for You.'' And Beth Maddocks' awful performance of Kelly Clarkson's ''Beautiful Disaster'' may not have been particularly entertaining, but her comrade with the FCC-taunting neckline more than made up for it. Be proud, dearie, your gal pal didn't make it to Hollywood, but you're well on your way to a Girls Gone Wild video appearance!

Of course, the producers' saved the b(izarr)est for last, in the form of 44-year-old Renaldo Lapuz. Maybe his appearance got hyped before one too many commercial breaks. Or maybe I've seen the ''pimp costume'' trotted out for comic effect one too many times. Or maybe it's the fact that I've never been a fan of the ''accents 'r' funny'' school of comedy. I just couldn't get a solid laugh out of Renaldo's ''We're Brothers Forever'' number (not even after Paula, Randy, and Ryan joined in). Instead, I saved my chuckling for the post-audition confessional, where Renaldo seemed to be spearheading a ''Simon for Sainthood'' campaign. I'll admit it: Those close-ups of the cranky British judge with a glowing halo were pretty hilarious. Still, next week, I'm hoping Simon's inner devil gets his mojo back. Idol isn't quite the same when he's not around to inject a little reality into America's favorite reality program.

How are you feeling about the kinder, gentler Idol? And what about some of the night's other rejected contestants? Does anyone think the producers put through karaoke queen Angela Reilly just so they could showcase her scorching-hot model husband for a few minutes? Was sweaty, whispery Douglas Davidson for real? And did you die inside a little when Bruce ''Never Been Kissed'' Dickson put his key into his dad's heart locket?