DAY 5
With no sign on the horizon of fresh scripted television, I decide to read a book. The first few pages go well, but I can't help wondering if Meredith and McDreamy will ever work things out. They're so right for each other and yet so wrong. I burn the book for warmth.
DAY 12
Tragedy! A power surge fries my DVR, destroying my meager larder of scripted shows. With little to sustain me, I am forced to subsist entirely on Reality Television. I gorge myself on marathons of The Real Housewives of Orange County and Flavor of Love, then collapse in a wretched heap. If this is living, I welcome death.
DAY 23
I hear a plane and decide to make a signal. I head to my roof to spell out ''Help — End Strike — Need New Shows — Make a Fair Deal for the Writers and End This!'' Sadly, I only have enough sticks for half an ''H.'' Must eat more Popsicles.
NEXT PAGE: DAY 51: ''I am now surviving completely on Game Shows.''
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