Oprah Launches a Network of Her OWN

In her continuing quest to dominate the world, Oprah Winfrey announced on Jan. 15 that she would be launching the Oprah Winfrey Network (appropriately dubbed OWN) in conjunction with Discovery Communications. Here are a few program ideas. You're welcome, O!

GAYLE AND THE GLADIATORS
Since NBC's American Gladiators is experiencing such a renaissance, why not put them in a house with Oprah's best pal, Gayle King? Don't think we haven't noticed her guns in all those sleeveless blouses.
NATE BERKUS: SITTING PRETTY
A fairly bare-bones production in which Oprah's dreamy decorator simply sits in front of the camera for half an hour. Gays and gals swoon.
THE LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND CANINE
A reality series starring Oprah's dogs: We're envisioning 500-thread doggie beds, luxurious lunches with Bono's pets, and fabulous animal mixers thrown by Colin Cowie.

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