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OBSESSION OF THE WEEK

The amount of hours I spent as a child in front of the Atari 2600 is just obscene. Often I think back and curse myself for wasting away my youth with a joystick in my hand (not that kind of joystick, sickos!). But more often I think about what a rad time that was, and how much I miss the innocent joy that a game of Dig Dug could inspire. At least I (for the most part) have moved on with my life. A new DVD, The King of Kong, profiles some chaps who weren't so fortunate. Profiling a battle to record the world's highest-ever Donkey Kong score, this documentary takes you inside the bizarre world of retro videogame competitions. Why would anyone care about getting the high number on a 25-year-old videogame? Well, I still have no idea, but it's a very big deal to a very small group of people, and the King of Kong producers do a fine job of showing us this world without openly mocking it. That's not to say you won't laugh your ass off. In fact, check out the movie, and I guarantee you will.

READER MAIL

If it was revealed that the characters on American Gladiators were on steroids, would you even care? That was the question posed in the last Glutton column. And you all answered, as well as offered up some thoughts on the most bizarre TV show of all time and an old Glutton friend. On to the mailbag!

As an avid pro-wrestling watcher, I can say that the guys from American Gladiators have to be on steroids to look better than some of my WWE faves.... Titan seems like a nice guy, it would be a shame if he went all Chris Benoit on some poor contestant. But I don't care too much. — Rob Grizzly

That appears to be the tone of most of the e-mails that came in: People seem to suspect that the Gladiators are on the juice, but couldn't care less. Maybe they should stage a special Celebrity 'Roids edition and have only people whose names have been linked to the juice: Canseco, Rodney Harrison, Marion Jones. Good times!

Dalton, if you are really concerned about steroid use, perhaps you should watch Ben Affleck's star-making turn in the Life Stories: Families in Crisis episode titled ''A Body to Die For: The Aaron Henry Story.'' Affleck gets all 'roid-ragey and mouths off to his friends and family (most notably his coach, played by Ernie Hudson). I can't remember now if it was for or against steroid use, but it sure was entertaining. —Dave Archer

I love the concept of Affleck on 'roids! That movie sounds almost as awesome as when Rob Lowe had to confront becoming a teenage dad in the ultimate After School Special, Schoolboy Father, only to learn that, jeez, having a baby is really, really hard. They poop a lot and you can't go party with your friends or anything!

I need to give you props for choosing Cop Rock as the most bizarre TV show of all time. I worked at the Library of Congress last summer and, after trying to explain it to all my coworkers, dragged them to the Motion Picture Division to try to watch the episodes the Library keeps in its records (to protect future networks from making the same mistakes?). However, I discovered not only can you not access the episodes with an employee pass, you need specific written authorization that you need it for research to have access to the tapes. Dalton, any explanations on why the U.S. government would make Cop Rock such a closely guarded secret? —Ali Curran

Because it's a matter of freakin' national security, Ali! Seriously, are we ready as a nation to be mocked by the rest of the world? They say that only sticks and stones can break bones, but — as someone who was called ''Dolphin'' for a good part of my adolescence — I can attest that names do hurt. Our country's morale is already low enough what with the slumping economy and war in Iraq. Do we really want to air our dirty laundry all over the globe by trotting out Cop Rock? Is that what you want, Ali? Is it? You really want to give North Korea more ammunition against us by showing them that we make TV shows that feature a crack-addict mommy tenderly serenading her baby before selling it for $200? Well, I think that's just un-American.

The dude who lip-synced ''We Are the World'' was Boston comedian Kevin Meaney. You probably remember him as the TV version of Uncle Buck. Or maybe not. Oh wait, I forgot who I was talking to...of course you remember the TV version of Uncle Buck! Anyway, here's a YouTube vid of Kevin Meaney doing ''We Are the World'':

Wow, that is the unfunniest YouTube clip I've seen in a long, long time.

So Kevin O'Connell is up for his 20th nomination. Are you starting the Oscar campaign again this year? —Laura Hill

You know it! Faithful readers may remember my first ever Glutton Oscar Endorsement last year, for 19-time Oscar runner-up Kevin O'Connell. Nineteen just didn't feel right, though. Twenty is a much nicer, rounder number. Plus, last year, O'Connell was up against Dreamgirls, and one couldn't help but feel that it being a musical helped it in the category of Sound Mixing, and O'Connell's nom for Apocalypto may have been tainted by Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic rant. Now, I haven't seen Transformers yet, but I have no doubt that there are many different robotic explosions that are mixed to perfection. I'll drop Kevin a line and get his thoughts on the upcoming ceremony. This is the year, people!

What are your thoughts on season 2 of Friday Night Lights? What's your favorite '80s videogame? Have a less funny YouTube clip to share than Kevin Meaney's? Send your questions, comments, and quibbles to theglutton@ew.com, or just fill out the handy-dandy form below. See you next week!