''Lost'': Chute First, Ask Questions Later

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Name Frank Lapidus
Occupation Pilot; also ''a drunk,'' according to Naomi. And since he sports the required accessory for spiritually wasted TV boozers — a scruffy beard — she must be right. (But since it's only a small beard, maybe he's only a little boozer.)
Island introduction Found by Jack's crew. Despite the electrical storm, Lapidus managed to land the helicopter, the sight of which caused Jack, Kate, and Sayid to beam like kids on Christmas morning.
Name game Lapidus is a type of granite.
Fantastic Four analogue Ben Grimm, who piloted the team's ill-fated spaceflight through a storm of cosmic rays and was transformed into the sad-eyed, rock-encrusted Thing for his trouble.
Backstory intrigue While watching coverage of the Oceanic 815 salvage, Lapidus became convinced the corpse in a pilot's uniform couldn't really have been the plane's pilot because he wasn't wearing his wedding ring. Of course, we have reason to know he's correct. After all, we saw the pilot get eviscerated by the Monster in the first episode. But how could Lapidus be so certain? Because he used to work with Capt. Seth Norris (Heroes' Greg Grunberg in a still-photo cameo) at Oceanic Airways. Lapidus, in fact, was originally scheduled to sit in Oceanic 815's captain's chair. (Did you try calling the number on Lapidus' TV screen? It's 888-548-0034 — and it works.)

Clearly, the Freighter Four have more secrets to spill, not to mention their own private agendas. But we were told their primary common objective for coming to the Island. Their job — initiated by Abbaddon, the creepy suit who last week harassed Flash-Forward Hurley at the mental hospital — isn't to rescue the castaways but to abduct Ben. (''Their mission is a man,'' to borrow the tagline from Saving Private Ryan, which featured a brilliant performance by Jeremy Davies as a courage-challenged soldier.)

While the Jack Pack wrapped their mind around that revelation, the Locke Lot was on the verge of screwing things up for the Freighter Four by assassinating their quarry. The über-Other begged for his life by pulling the old I'll-tell-you-secrets trick, but Locke called his bluff with a dead-serious question encoded with a slight wink at the audience: ''What is the Monster?'' Ben looked baffled, then said, ''I don't know.'' Locke cocked the gun, and with no choice but to come clean, Ben blurted out Charlotte's complete résumé. How does he know so much about Freighter Girl? ''Because I have a man on their boat!''

So who could it be? The safe bet would be ex-castaway Michael: If you've been reading the press about the new season of Lost, you know that at some point Harold Perrineau will be returning to the show. But what if Ben's lying? What if his spy isn't a man but a woman — the same woman he just tried to kill? What if he and Charlotte are in cahoots and that shooting business was all a ruse — another move in Ben's 20,000-steps-ahead-of-everyone Island chess game? Theories! I have tons more of them, including the logic-tortured argument that Charlotte is the daughter of Ben's Dharma-days gal pal Annie. (Do the research — they look a lot alike!)

But it's time for me to turn the space over to you for your thoughts and quibbles. Did you dig Superhero Jack as much as I did? (''I don't know, Miles — how stupid are you?'') Do you think something dark is brewing inside Sawyer? How did you like Locke's disclosure that he's taking orders from Ghost Walt? And hello, Vincent! Post!

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