''The rumor is that Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche want to have a
child, and they want the father to be Michael Bolton. In a
related story, Melissa Etheridge announced she's now opposed to
lesbians having children.''
Conan O'Brien on Late Night
''TV Guide announced it would cancel its Spanish-language
edition, which was launched just last October. Evidently the
magazine's sales numbers began to drop after the 20th
consecutive cover story on Jimmy Smits.''
Colin Quinn on SNL
''A convoy of truckers rolled on Washington today to protest
rising fuel prices. To give you an idea of how expensive it's
getting to drive, today Halle Berry hit and then remained at the
scene.''
Bill Maher on Politically Incorrect
''We are, of course, in Los Angeles. The only place in the world
where people pay $4 for a 12-ounce cappuccino and then complain
that gas is $1.83 a gallon.''
Jay Leno on The Tonight Show
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