'F---ing Ben Affleck': This Joke, Again?

I try to remind myself that this is a special kind of humor that only straight people understand, like Dane Cook or Fox News. I don't want to use ''I'm F---ing Ben Affleck'' to shred Jimmy Kimmel; God gave us Sarah Silverman for that, and besides, the guy did a shirtless scene; he's clearly impervious to shame. Besides, I think a lot of Kimmel's video is genuinely funny — the all-star chorus, the Josh Groban belting — as an undeniably clever counterpunch to the Sarah Silverman/Matt Damon video. And as retro-stoopid as I think the heart of this joke is, I also recognize that there's something not entirely unpromising in the fact that two straight celebs are relaxed enough to pretend to be gay for giggles (although honestly, it was fresher and more transgressive when Garry Shandling and David Duchovny did it 10 years ago).

But I do wonder just how often gay people are going to be asked to grin along with this particular set of stereotypes before it's officially proven that we can have a laugh at our own expense and we can move on to, oh, maybe a different joke. There is a very Ocean's 11/12/13 vibe to the Affleck video — the presence of Brad Pitt and Don Cheadle (and by extension Matt Damon) are clues to its location on the comedy map, which is straight down the center lane of the aggressively heterosexual, boys-will-be-boys, arm-punching, jesting-buddy style that defines the neo-Rat Pack.

In fact, watching this particular gag replay itself so many times, I was reminded of the original Rat Pack — in particular of Sammy Davis Jr. If you've seen footage of their nightclub appearances, you know that sometimes, Frank or Dean would invite Sammy onto the stage. They'd make some unspeakably racist remark, and he'd crack up harder than anyone, twisting his wiry little body into convulsions of mirth just to demonstrate that he couldn't possibly take offense because he knew the joke was coming from a place of love, man. And then he'd get a hug from one of the white guys, who'd say, Just kidding.

History does not record if Davis actually liked these jokes or if, just once or twice, he wanted to rub a Mafia joke or two in Frank's face and yell, Who's laughing now!? History does record that the Rat Pack was unquestionably on the good side of the civil-rights movement, just as it records that Brad Pitt has said he will not marry Angelina Jolie unless gay marriage is legalized in the United States. As far as gay people are concerned, Kimmel, Pitt and the other jokers in ''I'm F---ing Ben Affleck'' definitely aren't the enemy. But if this is what it means to be friends, I'm wondering if maybe they could like us a tiny bit less.

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