But enough of this stuffy science stuff! Let's kick some old-school, pop-nutty Doc Jensen lunacy:
LOST'S EMPIRE STRIKES BACK SEASON
Over the years, many connections have been made between Lost and Star Wars. But I got to thinking the other day: If Lost really did correlate to the original Star Wars trilogy, then season 4 the middle of the Lost saga would obviously correspond to The Empire Strikes Back. And it does! Think about it:
Hoth, hideaway home to ragtag rebels fleeing the big bad Empire people = The Dharma Barracks, hideaway home to ragtag castaways fleeing the big bad freighter folk.
Boba Fett, dangerous bounty hunter hired to bag Han Solo for Jabba the Hutt = Miles Straum, dangerous bounty hunter hired to bag Ben for mysterious master.
Cloud City, a distant locale that seems to offer hope for our heroes but actually houses hidden dangers = The freighter, a distant locale that seems to offer hope for our castaways but actually houses hidden dangers. It even has its own...
Lando, an old friend to our heroes but actually working (against his will) for their hated enemy = ''Ben's spy,'' an apparent friend to the castaways (probably responsible for opening that door for Desmond and Sayid in ''The Constant'') but actually employed by big bad Ben himself. (If the spy is Michael, as I believe it is, then we'll have the ''old friend'' connection that makes the Lando link complete.)
Obi-Wan Kenobi, dead guy who deactivated the Death Star's tractor beam in the last movie and in Empire appears to Luke as a ghost and urges him to go to Dagobah = Charlie, dead guy who deactivated the Looking Glass's jamming device last year and in season 4 appears to Hurley as a ghost and urges him to return to the Island.
R2D2, heroic and very cute robot who can fix broken computers, spaceships, and other electronic stuff in a jiffy = Sayid, heroic and handsome, who this season alone has already worked on Frank's helicopter and fixed the phones on the freighter. C'mon. You know it's true!
And finally, a not-yet-confirmed link, but in the spirit of bringing this column full circle:
Space Slug, a giant worm that lives inside a hole in an asteroid and nearly gobbles up our unlucky heroes = The Wormhole, a giant anomaly that contains the rock that is the Island; it has gobbled up our unlucky castaways, but we know that six will get out. And by next week, I'm told, we'll know all of them...
May the force be with you! = Namaste!
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