THE MALE VIEW, PART 1
I'm a Straight Guy — and I Love Sex
by Dan Snierson
I love Swingers almost as much as I love college football. I believe that a double-meat-topped pizza is God sliced into little triangles. And I'm sorry, but if you fart, I laugh.
In other words, I'm damn straight. And straight dudes are not supposed to say that they like Sex and the City. But screw it: I like Sex and the City. I like Sex and the City in the same way that women like a Nick Hornby novel. Which is to say that it is precious, delicious opposition research. Carrie & Co. willingly, if flagrantly, give up the sultry secrets of the female species in a package that is clever (''I think I have monogamy. I must have caught it from you people''), pretty (Kristin Davis — you, me, committed relationship?), and, best of all, does not involve The View (there are some lines that males cannot cross under any circumstances).
While I thoroughly enjoy watching those Entourage dudes backslap and bro down, there is forbidden-fruited pleasure in eavesdropping on quippy chicks dropping truth nuggets about themselves and their never-to-be-underestimated needs. (Do I feel threatened by that candy-colored Rabbit contraption? You betcha. But I also feel strangely empowered knowing how utterly irrelevant I am. Go figure.) Sit through six seasons of Sex Ed, and — magic! — you've got a Ph.D. in what women want. (Which apparently is no longer Mel Gibson falling into the bathtub with a hair dryer.) Of course, it's troubling at times to witness my brethren on SATC being objectified like...well, just like women have been since the dawn of Eve. But it's a small price to pay, given that, in return, I've gleaned dating do's, don'ts, and oh-hell-nos, relationship survival skills, and an enlightened understanding of big-city psychosexual politics. That said, when my next date asks me why I'm so freakin' evolved, I'm sure as hell not telling her that I watch this show. As we all know, Gay Straight Man never gets the girl.
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